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Your comments on Dress

I think this campaign is excellent. I am appalled at the conviction rates for rape and also at people's attitudes in an apparently 'modern' society. Keep up the excellent work.Karen Irvine, female

Congratulations on this excellent and essential campaign. The web site is very informative. I wish you every success.Iain, male

It is great that a campaign has highlighted some of the really pervaisive and harmful myths surrounding rape and sexual assaultCatherine, female

Hello everyone, This is Jane here from the interview. I would like to thank anyone who watches the interview or is helping the campaign. It is really important that we let as many people as possible know about this so we can start doing something about it. For any rape survivors out there, please, please tell someone whether it be the police or your local rape crisis centre. They are professional people who are really nice and are trained to help deal with these issues. Also please do not feel you cannot report your rape because you were say drunk or had been wearing a revealing top. No means not at all times and you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex with anyone from the opposite or same sex. Thanks JaneJane, female

I think this is a wonderful campaign and that we all owe thanks to the many people that tirelessly campaign to try and change people's attidudes.Kirsty Pryde, female

I am so pleased and relieved to see a great campaign being launched to counter the ignorant and horrendous myths surrounding rape. Well done Rape Crisis, you've put the issue of rape back on the agenda, hopefully this campaign will encourage people to question their attitudes and beliefs.Amy, female

Yes! This is a brilliant campaign! These are exactly the kind of attitudes that need to be challenged.Rachel, female

Despite the strive towards gender equality patriarchal beliefs still persist. When, if ever, does a man consider he may be at risk or blamed for a sexual assault because of how he has dressed, flirted, whether he has consumed alcohol or given tacit agreement because he's in a relationship with a sexual abuser? We must all, men and women,dispel these outdated myths and judge the rapists for what they are...cowards and abusers. Well done Rape Crisis...as always leading the way!Maz, female

I'm very excited about this campaign's release. In my experience, even usually moral and considerate people often hold bizarre and damaging attitudes about rape and the assignation of responsibility when a woman has been raped. I hope this campaign at least changes people's private beliefs, if not their public ones. A woman may well be raped whilst walking home drunk and wearing next to nowt but this doesn’t mean she shouldn’t walk home drunk wearing next to nowt. Avoiding being raped should not be at the forefront of a woman’s mind, anyone’s mind, when they leave their house. And anyway, this stereotypical attitude that only young, attractive, drunk women who walk alone at night are raped denies the fact that women of all ages, races, backgrounds, appearance etc are raped, often at home and often by someone they know. When will people get it?!?! And before anyone starts, this is not a campaign designed to blame men, to demonise them: it is clearly designed to blame rapists for raping women, as well as challenging general beliefs about rape.Elle, female

I think this is a positive step towards eradicating the entrenched attitudes towards the subject of rape in which focus is always put on the woman. i hope that the message of this campaign will spread to the rest of the country. we need a new discourse; directing the focus onto the perpetrators as opposed to the victims. This is a campaign long over due. but halleluja it's finally here!mian, female

 Fantastic campaign... I am so impressed and hope that the rest of the UK soon catches up with the groundbreaking public awareness work you are doing.Denise Marshall... Poppy Project, female

 "Don’t try to second guess the significance of a woman’s dress or demeanour – women are entitled to make whatever choices they please when choosing what to wear – just as men are free to choose whether or not to commit a rape" Seems a bit harsh to generalise like that! I should clarify. Men are free to choose - I am completely against rape. However, who said it was only men who are committing these crimes? Have you forgotten about the lesbian rapes, rapes committed on men, etc? More than a little insensitive and a little hypocritical for a page claiming to be about equality and how appearances shouldn't affect our lives in an adverse way..David, male

Long overdue, It is fantastic, I feel it will really grab peoples' attention and maybe focus them on their own outdated beliefs. For all the women out there who have been subjected to rape remember this was never your fault and hopefully this campaign will go a tiny little way to help you see that.Susan, female

I found ad's in your face and very attention grabbing which is exactly what they needed to be. For too long its been ignored as an uncomfertable subject. Well done!Fiona, female

I was driving down the road today and this big nipple picture was in a bus shelter window. It was the big nipple which caught my attention and my eye lingered upon it a second or so longer than it should have, and i nearly crashed because of it. Good luck with your little campaign but this nipple picture is a danger to motorists and should be removed from road sides advertising boards.Craig, male

Hello there. I think rape is justified if the female wears slutty clothes lololololFritz, male

Craig "Good luck with your little campaign" I have to say that it is not a little campaign. Being a rape victim myself this campaign is excellent and i'm fully on board. I do believe that this will change the way people think and if it stops just one person being raped then that is a small justice in itself. xxxNatalie, female

David, sexual violence is committed predominantly by men. That is not to discount the abuses that women perpatrate, nor the experiences of men who experience rape and abuse (which, according to all available evidence) is mainly carried out by other men, but, really. Do some research on the topic and you will be faced by waves of research to support that rape is mainly a gendered crime and abuse of power by men toward women. Your analysis (and I use the term loosely) is, at best, based on a real lack of understanding of equality issues. Finally, how many areas are realistic for one campaign to cover? The aim of this one is to challenge rape myths - myths which affect mainly women (men face different problems than being blamed for what they were wearing or what they had to drink). Is it too much to ask that you maybe do a little research and get hold of some facts before letting loose with inaccurate rants which serve only to distract from a really important campaign and message. I only wish men would be so vocal in challenging other men about their attitudes instead of hiding behind a pc.Alice, female

I agree with the last guy, it has been very genralised towards men. A friend of mines male cousin was raped but the woman got away with it as they said they did not have the right facility to put a woman who had commited this crime into. I think this is something that should have more time and money put into making people aware of it. Anyone can be raped by anyone, that should be ur slogan!Ashley, female

 Excellant site and campaign however only portrays that women are raped when out drinking or scantily dressed and young. This does not represent a true picture of rape eg. women are raped everyday, young and old, able bodies and disabled and not just when they are going out at night drinking.Jill, female

 These posters are brilliant in that they highlight women doing every day ordinary things and that makes them so potent. Rape can never be excused and in this supposed enlighten society should never be accepted or condoned. Everyone must condemn rape and demand penalties from our courts that match the crime, rape victims will live with what happened to them for the rest of their lives and their attackers should similiarly suffer a punishment that will remain with them for a long time.Wilma Gilchrist, female

What a spectacular waste of money.Stephen, male

This campaign does not place enough emphasis on a woman's responsibility to protect herself from her assailant. Please consider not only trying to inform men about when it is/is not appropriate to have sex with a woman, but also help the woman to know how to give clear signals when she does not want to have sex as well as how to protect herself when things go awry.Andrew, male

 Who needs an invitation for rape!!! i think rape is a terrible word - i prefer to call it surprise sex!!!Danny, male

Jane from the interview has said something that should be picked up on. In her comment she says "you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex" and I'm afraid I don't understand how a woman has the right to say no AFTER sex. Isn't this more confusing myth-spreading? I agree with Andrew that more should be done to educate women on how to communicate what she wants clearly and how to avoid getting in to trouble in the first place. This is in no way to suggest that rape victims are responsible for what has happened to them, I'm merely suggesting an alternative to the current blame culture - since when has blaming and moralizing ever truly helped a society or individual to come to terms with trauma? If we want to eradicate sexual violence first we must understand it. This doesn't include fear-mongering; has anyone on this campaign considered how pointing the finger at men instead of women and contributing further to present attitudes of mistrust may have future consequences on the lives of innocent men who are against rape? Perpetrators of sexual violence are emotionally and psychologically damaged people, yet we never seem to ask ourselves "why does rape happen?" Perhaps when we do we may begin to learn how to create a society in which men will no longer choose to rape.clare, female

What a horribly sexist campaign. The implication of your advertisement is that all rapists are male and all victims are female. This is demonstrably false and it is about time such chauvanistic attitudes were changed.Alan, male

As the victim of a violent rape I am horrified by the last three comments by Andrew, Stephen and Danny. I hope you never find yourselves asked to sit on a jury at a rape trial. You're just the sort of person I would not have liked to have had judging my attacker who went to jail. Rape is rape is rape. Forget gender, it's a power thing. It's illegal, it destroys the lives of victims and their families and friends. I said no, I tried to get away, I fought, I lost the battle, I was degraded, violently abused and raped. I don't drink, I wasn't dressed improperly (unless jeans, rugger shirt and jumper are improper), I wasn't being 'intimate' with my attacker and I wasn't in a relationship with him. It was mid afternoon. Your comments are the very reason why this campaign is so necessary. You are sadly lacking in empathy. If it ever happened to you or one of your loved ones I reckon you might think differently and see rape for the awful crime that it is. Shame on you for being such bad examples of some men's attitudes towards this dreadful crime.Jane, female

Anyone sick enough to commit the crime of rape will not be deterred by a poster campaign. The best way to prevent rape , and the circumstances that allow for rape to happen , is to exercise due caution when on a night out for example. No , I'm not telling anyone what to wear or how to act - that is totally upto them. But take care. To be honest I find the methods used by this campaign to be a bit crass and I feel that it demonises men. Good idea , badly executed.Paul, male

Anyone sick enough to commit the crime of rape will not be deterred by a poster campaign. The best way to prevent rape , and the circumstances that allow for rape to happen , is to exercise due caution when on a night out for example. No , I'm not telling anyone what to wear or how to act - that is totally upto them. But take care. To be honest I find the methods used by this campaign to be a bit crass and I feel that it demonises men. Good idea , badly executed.Paul, male

Most of the women close to me, my wife daughter, son’s girl friend, have been victims of serious sexual assault at some time or other in their lives and a few cases have resulted in successful prosecution. I cannot say what permanent damage has been done to their lives and what scars they will carry to the grave, but I do know that the sickening sense of revulsion at these crimes and the deep sense of shame that I feel, as a man, (surpassed only by the crimes against children) are unlikely to leave me. That an intimate beautiful thing should be turned into a despicable act of violence and cowardice is both incomprehensible and bestial. So I welcome the initiative, but can’t help feeling that it is yet another classic case of missing the mark. The offenders are not the people who think it is unwise for young girls to parade the streets late at night, semi naked and drunk, or who suggest that leading someone on and then saying “no” is foolish or who advocate more care in choosing someone to commit to or who simply encourage more responsible behaviour. The offenders are those who commit the crimes and I very much doubt if any amount of in your face advertising will change their attitudes one bit.Crawford, male

I think this whole campaign is really interesting and everyone should be made to find out about it. I have read many stories about rape in magazines etc even though I'm only a teenager. It's good to know that there is loads of help and advice out there for people who have been victims of rape. The bit about dress especially interested me as personally, i find that drunk old men always shout comments at me even when I'm just going to the shops in a decent length skirt. Well done. xMyriam, female

 I think you are missing the point about this campaign Crawford. What the people behind this campaign are trying to do is change the way in which men view rape, and what is commonly accepted as rape. They want us to believe that a woman is in no way responsible at any time for being "raped" as they see it. If you dont understand what i mean, then do a google search on Helen Mirren, who, a few weeks ago, said she was raped twice while at university, but both times it was her fault, as she led the man on to the stage just before penetration, and then she said no. She also said that the men should never face prosecution. These comments provoked a furious response from some sections. While i do agree that rape is one of the most serious of crimes, I do also believe not all women who believe they have been raped and report it to the police, actually have been raped. Women do need to take responsibility for their own safety. This is a feminist led campaign, designed to demonise men. It will soon be reaching the stage that you need both parties to sign a consent form, and have had counter signed by two witnesses, before you can have sex with someone.David, male

 I admire your efforts, but don't think that you can overturn millions of years of evolution with these facile posters.Neil, male

I think it's absolutley ridiculous that a female rape victim can be blamed for being raped because of what she was wearing, you have the right to wear whatever you want to wear without having to worry about being attacked. At the end of the day, why should a woman who is raped be blamed because of what she is wearing when really it is the attacker who is commiting the horrific crime.Katy, female

Surely Rape isn't just a female problem?Eddie Forummer, male

Nobody can deny the importance of campaigns such as this, but everybody still has a responsibility for their own safety. You have to accept that there are people out there who will/can do you harm, and you can also minimise the risk you have of encountering them. nobody should change the way they dress on account of fears of being a victim, but when every weekend I see young girls wandering around town centres late at night, drunk and on their own they are putting themselves in danger. As a man I avoid situations like this as there's always the risk of someone starting a fight or similar. It's no different for women. if you go on holiday, leave your windows open and get burgled- yes, you are the victim of crime, but you also presented an opportunity for the crime to occur. You didn't ask for it, but you didn't do anything to prevent it. This doesn't mean you are to blame for it happening in any way. You can't live in this society and expect everyone to play by the rules, you need to anticipate the ill-desires of others and act to protect yourself. Hopefully campaigns like this start more open discussion on such matters and raise awareness!Alex, male

Nice idea to raise awareness, too bad it portrays a false image of not only 'all rapists are male', but that 'all males are rapists'. Yes, a biased opinion because I'm male, surely - and while I'm not saying the statistics don't prove a female majority in the victim category, it seems a bit unfair to lump all men into one category of dangerous sexual monsters. If you attempted to make a campaign saying all blacks are criminals or all disabled people are useless you'd get torn apart because it's totally false and improper. There definitely needs to be a greater awareness of the frequency of rape and the damaging effects, but let's bring people together to support, don't exclude and shut out by portraying men as monsters. Some of the male comments are simply looking for some glory or trying to shock and offend. If it was their sister or daughter they'd change their tune. I wonder how the posters make women portray men that might approach them in bars or nightclubs with the best of intentions to actually get to know them.RDM, male

Paul and Crawford, wise up. The campaign isn't aimed at rapists. The point is to spread the attitude within the general public that rape, regardless of circumstance, is wrong and that the rapist should be held responsible for it. Rape is always going to be present in society, but it is the public's responsibility to determine how they're going to deal with it.Hannah Riotto, female

To those males who wonder about the effectiveness of the campaign when it comes to rapists: You are probably right that a rapist is still going to rape, but that doesn't mean that there shouldn't be effort to teach the non-rapists who dismiss the rape victims that what they're doing is wrong. Hopefully this campaign is going to be most effective when it comes to discouraging people from taking the rapist's side, which will have an effect on attitudes about rape. And to those who point out that there are male victims too, rape of males doesn't mean that rape of females shouldn't be acknowledged. Also, motivations for rape of males tend to be different than for females, so it doesn't surprise me that this campaign focuses on females only. And I see no reason why male victims shouldn't start their own campaign against rape.Martin, male

So we know that rapists are usually someone that the victim knows quite well, and that it's about power not sex yadda yadda. So what's the point of this campaign banging on about how women should be able to wear short skirts etc.? It's old school, tame, pointless, and behind the times. And the comments of "Before, during and AFTER" Jane at the top, perfectly epitomise the brain-dead rhetoric of the people behind this. We're all people, even men.A.Non, male

Good website, I am fed of people thinking of doing a rape on me because of my clothes. lol tb xBill Board, female

Lets be realistic, in no circumstances should a woman be raped whether she may be covered head to toe or is naked, BUT a woman who shows her body in a sexual way will attract a specific sort of attention. That is why most women who are raped are wearing revealing clothes!! They don't deserve it, but they DO play a part in it.Hamid, male

The name of this campaign is a complete contradiction...how can you invite someone to rape you? If you invited someone, this implies consent, but rape is non consenting sex!Tyrone, male

Thank you for this campaign- it's refreshing to see a campaign demonstrating that the only people who can stop rape are men themselves.Sam, female

Several of the above comments miss the point. This isn't necessarily about stopping individual rapists or potential rapists, but is geared more towards changing myths that dominate the discussion of rape in society. As for those who wrote above about how rape happens to all types of people, yes, it does, but it is incredibly important to consider the percentages. It is a crime mostly committed by men, mostly against women. If this is not something you like to hear, that may be difficult to accept. But it doesn't make this campaign any less necessary; it just proves this IS necessary.Tristessa, female

Puzzles me why some people; mostly men, are so driven to protect a man's 'privelege' of access to anyone's body; even though someone's happiness or even their life may be lost. These people are silent except when an opportunity arises to be apologists for rapists. What do they gain from that? With the utterly disgraceful record of arrests and convictions for rape, these people should hang their heads in shame.Lee, female

From your "Dress - What you can do"-page: "women are entitled to make whatever choices they please when choosing what to wear – just as men are free to choose whether or not to commit a rape". Is it just me, or does this comparision trivialize rape? Women (and men, for that matter) should be free to wear what they want without fearing harassment, humiliation or rape. Men should not be "free" to rape without fear of retribution. Would you please change that formulation?Gabriel Psarros, male

Unfortunately I - along with every man I know - think that this advertisement campaign is an insult to men everywhere. To find it such a priority to remind men NOT to rape women is ridiculous. Implying that men think that women wearing revealing clothing deserve to be raped is an absolute disgrace. Do we need reminded not to murder or not to torture? I think it is reasonable to suggest that women would be up-in-arms if a poster were published stating ‘ A rich man is not an invitation to steal all his money via a divorce settlement and then take full custody of his children ‘ which I can assure you, happen just as much as ‘invited rape’. This is sexism at its inexcusable worst and I think anyone believing the average man is a rapist should be ashamed of himself or herself. In a new world that profits on the fear of individuals, this is not only exploitative to young females but also abusive to the average man. Remind yourself that you all have fathers and often thoroughly decent men in your family; do you remind them not to rape? An absolutely disgraceful campaign; shame on you all.John smith, male

This is an amazing campaign and I highly support it. I like the way you guys divide information into "myth", "facts" and "impact". Valuable read indeed, and I hope this will open many more eyes and minds.Munira, female

The campaign is targeting the common "myths" which lead to victims being blamed for rape, and I welcome it. Of course men are also victims of sexual violence, as are elderly women, children, disabled people....etc. However, there tends to be a bizarre attitude in our society of looking for reasons to blame young, attractive women for causing their rapes, while sexual attacks on the other aforementioned groups are seen as "sick" and there are no excuses made for the rapist. Rape against anyone can not be excused. I would welcome male groups highlighting the problems and stigma attached to males reporting rapes (as many female groups have in the past, & continue to do so).Mary, female

 Found you thru Feministing.com... this campaign is awesome! And, to all of you nasty, rape-apologists ("but WHAT ABOUT THE MENZ???"): piss off. To the people doing this campaign: KEEP THIS GOING, Y'ALL!!! xoxo, Love, an American.Doctress Julia, female

Seems like some folks are getting the wrong idea in part - from what I've read on the website, the campaign seems in part to be trying to challenge the general perception of the public rather/more than the perpetrators of rape themselves. The examples of court situations where someone has got off completely/lightly because the victim was slatted due to dress, etc is wrong and so should be challenged. Unfortunately, I don't think that the current method of provocative advertising is likely to get this across to the general public, but maybe the advertising is just to get people to check out the website - which worked with me.Scott, female

This website is awesome! I thank feministing for pointing me in its direction. I plan to start spreading awareness at my high school ASAP.Elle, female

I support you all completly and only wish there was more towards males, but alas get the main problem sorted and we can work to the sides ;) And to Doctress Julia - to even use that name and tell men who have been raped to piss of, please go read the Hippocratic Oath and get some respect for all human beings. Keep it up guys.Josh, male

Fantastic campaign, fantastic website - thank you Rape Crisis Scotland!Eleanor, female

I don´t know John Smith...should I remind my father and other "respectable" men I know not to rape? When statistics (and I mean REAL ones, not the widespread and mostly false gender stereotypes you presented) show that only about a fourth of rapists are unknown to their victim, about 3 fourths are friends, acquaintances, family members, or partners. Let´s not begin the topic of unreported rape which I really can assure YOU, is much higher than the number of gold digging women. Can we please put aside the hurt egos and accept the fact that rape is a shame, and it´s not, never has been, and never will be the fault of the victim! If a man can walk down the street shirtless and feel safe, why can´t a woman? Men don´t have to question their sexual safety because they often are not the victims. And those who are victims disprove the unfortunate belief that what you´re wearing puts you at fault. We as HUMAN BEINGS have the right to wear what we want. And in the 21st century, we should also ALL have the right of protection and safety!not a "feminazi", female

I don't understand why men feel insulted. This campaign is directed to EVERYONE, men and women, to try to get people to give rape victims more compassion rather than blame. This campaign is for everyone who has thought rape is partly the victim's fault which surveys have shown is over 25% of Scots. Even if we can stop rapists with this, changing the attitudes of police officers, judges, and everyone else could help more rapists get convicted and make potential rapists think twice. Good job.Lyndsay, female

 This website is just just what is needed! About 30% of British people surveyed thought that women are partly to blame for wearing a short skirt and etc. Unfortunately, I know from personal experience that the "short skirt=rape" myth is not true. I was walking on a main street wearing long-ish shorts and t-shirt (also having short hair), got cat-called by some guys in a car, and then ran for dear life when said car stopped. Funny that people keep stressing women "keeping safe" when no other crime gets this level of victim-blamming, even muggings of drunk people.Charlotte, female

Just because this does not cover all forms of sexual abuse possible does not mean it's not a step in the right direction, nay-sayers. This is not a campaign aimed at men who rape, but rather the people who stand by and finger-point. Cops and nurses who don't take rape victims seriously, judges who let rapists go free, and so-called "friends" who discourage victims from seeking justice because "they deserved it." And judging from the responses here, it is a campaign badly needed.AVies, female

Women aren't the only victims of rape. Plus this campaign makes women look weak and hopeless. Needing protected from the evil that is man. Very bias.Gemma, female

Brilliant campaign! Ignore the trolls that have arrived in the comment section! They must spend a lot of time searching for things to disagree with...clearly not worth fighting with. Keep up the awareness campaign!Anonymous, female

This is a spectacular campaign. Well done!Meghan, female

This is simply the most idiotic, atrocious advert ever made in scotland, and when you consider the importance of the subject it's quite shocking. [This part of comment edited due to abusive language] Now they're going to see this and say, "hey, fantastic, it's not our fault if we get raped, let's be even whorier, after all - it won't be our fault!" I actually cringe every time I see one of these poorly thought out adverts up anywhere. Job well done, people.campbell, male

I was raped by a woman some months ago after recovering from surgery. I was highly sedated and on strong painkillers. She took this as an opportunity to preform and unsolicited sex act on me - one which I would have NEVER allowed had I been sober. Women can rape men, as well. Please include this into your campaign.BB, male

This campaign is clearly very successful and I have heard many young people discussing it. But I feel an excellent opportunity to address one of society’s biggest remaining taboos has been missed, that of same sex rape. It appears that, even now, when our society is more open and ready to face its ills in a way never seen before that this topic has a blanket ban, even from pressure groups. Please consider this approaching this issue in future campaigns.Scott, male

Obviously its ridiculous to think that anyone ever "wants or deserves" to be raped but to ignore that how someone behaves affects the possibility of their being raped is foolish and do start a campaign to deny it is irresponisble.Mark, male

 I'm writing a higher english discursive essay and this co-insides with my essay question, i was suprised to find the attitiudes of my classmates (male) seemed to match the myht rather than fact, keep up the great work =]Kate, female

 Thank you thank you thank you!Jackie, female

 Perhaps Doctress Julia should go somewhere and relieve her obvious, angry bitterness towards men, because it makes for unpleasant reading. Repeatedly this campaign has been described as "challenging the myths held by society rather than aiming at the rapists themselves". Umm..HELLO? no-one else see the massive flaw there? People who aren't actually raping people DON'T NEED TO BE TOLD NOT TO.Frank, male

What a wonderful campaign. Wish we had something similarly powerful in the States.SC, female

The violent act of rape is still taboo, and puts many people on the defensive. I was raped 5 years ago this month. I blamed myself terribly, even though I had done nothing out of the norm. My attacker was a friend of mine, who overpowered me in my t-shirt and jeans, and refused to respect my repeated refusal for any sexual contact. He later said to me, "I thought if I could make you be with me just once, you would realize that you wanted to be with me." I think for those of us who are normal, it's hard to fathom such a point of view. I understand why some men feel as is they are being villainized, but I want them to know how valuable their(and all of our) voices really are. I wish that my attacker had lived in an environment where his friends and family spoke openly of their intolerance of rape. It it a terrible crime which anyone can suffer, and our culture trivializes it. This site represents an awareness campaign, and serves to get a discourse going. That is valuable, and I thank the campaign creators for it.Giulia, female

 It's very telling reading the comments section. I've noticed an overwhelming majority of male voices engaged in victim blaming, justification for rape, and foul jokes about the crime of rape. Is it not surprising that we need campaigns such as this to make people aware and educate them about what is inappropriate? Stop raping people and we won't need to inconvenience you with "little campaigns" such as this. I think the campaign is great, I hope it plants a seed of growing awareness in people inclined to ignore other people's bodily sovereignty, and proves to be very successful. Good job all around.Jen, female

 fantastic to see such a bold initiative - this has been too long in coming already...I find it amazing how ignorant some people still are in a so called evolving society... lots of support ..HelenHelen, female

I think it's terrible how rape victims are treated a lot of the time.Ellie, female

 I fully support this campaign,but think it is important to consider that women aren't the only victims, men can be raped too, both by women, and by other men. I think it is important that we don't portray all men to be monsters here. Having said that, as a survivor of rape I am in full support of any cause to end violence against women.Alysan, female

 I don't think I've ever been so pleased with an advertising campaign. Let's hope we can change some attitudes and end the attempted legitimisation of rape!Chris, male

Drinking alcohol & the resulting lack of inhibition, or inability to give consent should NOT be taken as an invitation to take ANY advantage.HW, male

Wearing skimpy clothing in hot weather is acceptable, but wearing very skimpy clothing on a night out at the pubs gives out the wrong signal to SOME males. Skimpy clothing and alcohol does not reduce your right to say no to sex. No matter what situation you are in, your right to say not to sex should always be respected.M, male

Mildly erotic? Provocative? Follower of fashion? Whatever your view, how you dress should not be seen as an invitation that you would be "asking for it".HW, male

I do not believe that women who dress provocatively are sending out a sexual message, it's about fashion and confidence!AS, 19, female

Marriage is a commitment, but that does not mean men have the right to sexually harrass or abuse their partners.AS, 19, female

 Get's the point across that there is no excuse/justification for rape.AD, female

 Why is there nothing what so over about Male/Male rape or Female > Male rape? I know the percentages are lower, but to completely ignore is irresponsible.Mark Lawson, male

 im sorry but increasingly many girls or women dress in a way that is very sexually suggestive, thats not to say they are open to rape but many should take more care on appearence. You can see this prime example on halloween when some are wearing next to nothing, and younger girls are getting a taste for it-and its slightly disturbing. increasingly bebo is becoming a place to model yourself in suggestive clothing-either what it is or how they wear it.Tom, male

 What is womens goal with showing alot of skin, other then sending a signal of being fertile and attracting other people in a sexual context? -If none other: then it is a matter taking a riskBob, male

 I for one am greatly offended by this campaign. The idea being presented that because I am male I am therefore to be treated as a potential rapist, and somehow need billboards and other forms of advertising to remind me not to rape women. I've spoken with a number of militant lesbians in the past who have had the opinion that all men, simply because of their sex, are "potential" rapists. It seems your advertising campaign has gone down the same route.Will, male

I think that this campaign is brilliant and is well called for . IT is a brillant way to educate people and raise awearness of this terrible situation when people have vulgar oppinions that it was the Rape victims fault . NO means no and there is no exuse for rape . I find it gut wrenching that some people have vile oppinions or sugest that the victim being drunk or wearing revealing outfits means its thier fault the get raped !Jamie-leah , female

 Great campaign. Keep up the good work!Angela, female

While i applaud the aims of the campaign i can't help but feel that those who would contemplate forcing themselves on another (be they male of female) would do so in the full knowledge that the situations shown in the campaign are not "invitations to rape" someone. i saw a large billboard for the campaign tonight on the way home from work and my 1st reaction was actually humoured disbelief that it would actually have been considered effective because i'm not sure it is or will be. it may well be a talking point among people but actually making people who would consider perpetrating these crimes think twice about their actions?...i think there isn't a campaign that couldGary, male

 Rapists don't use invitations, they just gate crash the party.Hardeem, male

 This is the most patronising site in the world. I know when and when not to have intercourse with someone. I know this is a serious subject but come on give us some credit. In the 'mixed signals' photo she is clearly wanting a bit and in the rest of the pictures I know they are not an invitation for rape. If people come on here seeking guidance on whether or not they should be raping someone if they are showing a bit of nipple through a t-shirt then they are thick. Everyone that thinks this is a good campaign are idiots or given out the wrong impression by acting inappropriately. What a load of pish.John, male

I strongly support all efforts to change attitudes towards rape. But in a cultural context where being a pimp is considdered a good thing, and where violence against and sexual exploitation of women are glamorised, and women are dehumanised in every popular's men's and many popular women's magazines I hold out little hope for a campaign this small. The people who rape are almost allways men, and men really need to start seeing this as a man's issue as well as a women's issue. Everytime a man or women wears clothes that glamorise prostitution and porn, everytime they buy music or magazines that do the same, they are buying into rape culture. The responsibility rests with us, not the government or the police, and certainly not with the victims.Ed, male

 You make a good point, and a lot of the information available on the site is shocking. However, I do agree that the site is sexist. Men and boys do suffer sexual assault, this perhaps is not on the same scale as a man raping a woman, but it is still important. Your campaign gives the impression that the only victims are woman and that it is only men that commit this crime. Those who suggest that women wearing reavealing clothes or getting drunk are inviting someone to rape them, is untterly ridiculous and it was clear as I read through some of the comments that it is only men who agree with this theory. That is very telling. Your campaign is very imformative but I highly doubt that it is going to make any difference, men who commit rape do not do it because they believe that the woman wants it or that it's ok to do it, they are not common people like me or you. So seeing a poster telling them not to rape their wife, or someone they meet on a night out is not going to make them stop and reconsider.Claire Docherty, female

You wouldn't walk the street with £1000 in cash, because people will get tempted, you wouldn't leave you're front door open. 'The facts' are, that flashing cash will increase the chances of getting it stolen, leaving the front door open will increase chances of burglary, wearing revealing clothes... sadly that is the way it is.Curtis, male

 Do you really think that rapists will be looking at this site? What's it for?Michael, male

 I hate people who rape women, scum, they deserve to be hung upside down by their privates, and then castrated and thrown in a cell for the rest of their life. But, instead, our justice system usually fails, and ends up sending back onto the streets, non castrated rapers who are now confident they can beat the system, and they end up raping sometimes not only once, but multiple times more. As well as sometimes even leading to murder. So many crimes needs to have their punishments revised, its a necessity to make them so harsh, that people will stop doing these things, and even fear just thinking about doing them. Rape crimes need to be stopped. They need to be prevented, and they 'need' to be punished 'without' mercy.Will Weremecki, male

 Hi I just want to say that this campaign is wonderful. I was drugged and raped 3 years ago and my boyfirend at the time blamed me for it. I really hope this helps to stop the stigma attached to rape and means that more girls can come forward and report it when it does happen to them. Even now, not many people know what happened to me because I'm worried that they will think it was my own fault - how stupid is that (but it's what happens!!)Suzie, female

 There is no excuse EVEN if you are wearing a short skirt EVEN if you were kissing. NO means NO and it should be respected. It is a violent, criminal act. As I have personally experienced the tragedies of this as have some of my friends, can I frankly say a great big "EFF OFF" to those of you who want the victims to take some of the blame. Of course they are going to blame themselves! They will berate and despair and wonder what if... Combatting these myths hopefully will make it easier for victims to come out and report what has happened. What we need is support - not doubt. Can we please stop talking about these victims who "cry rape"? I doubt they even exist. As far as I'm concerned it's a myth propagated by misogynists and sexual deviants looking for excuses.Tara, female

Clothing on a woman has nothing to do with leading a man on, basically the law is blaming the woman for getting raped. It is ridiculous. Your campain is very informative, it could make a difference if you's really work at it.Steffi McGarrell, female

 The suggestion that there even is such a thing as an "invitation to rape" is appalling. I find this campaign shocking and am concerned that the research involved prior to launching the campaign was sub par – posting educational billboards of the topic rather than suggestive and almost pornographic pictures of women would be a more sensible and less insulting approach.Justin, male

 I think people are missing the point when they are talking about men who have been raped and why they are not included. It is important that men who have been raped get the support they need but it is not the same. When a man is raped do people ask what he was wearing? Do they ask if he had been flirting? If he had gone back to their house, or had a drink beforehand? That's the message I think these ads are trying to get across, and it's not just to those who rape, but all of society, as shown by all the comments above.Alex, female

I agree that all are myths.. bar one of them!! I have some squibbles with the myth concerning alcohol. I dont believe ANYTHING to be an invitation to be raped, however, I feel that blaming the rape on being drunk is not acceptable because you were not in a fit state to look after yourself due to your own actions and your own mistake of drinking too much. We have too much of a nanny state in the UK and have to start taking responsibility for our own actions.mary, female

Great Campaign, Great Website, lets hope it makes a difference. keep up the good work.Louis, male

Claire, it seems quite naive to suggest that people who rape are 'not common people like you or me'. The evidence shows overwhelmingly that the majority of rapists were known by their victim. People who were very much considered normal people like you or me . I think this campaign is great. The point that some people seem to be missing is that it is not trying to 'remind men not to rape' or 'demonise all men' .It is trying to challenge some of the insidious myths which surround rape. Those which place some element of blame on the victim, wether it be that she was dressing 'provocativly' or was intoxicated. The fact is that in regards to male rape these type of attitudes do not prevail. It is unlikely that a man would be blamed for wearing tight trousers or being drunk. Obviously there are many forms of sexual violence within society that need to be adressed but it is too much to expect one campaign to tackle them all. A great start though!Cat, female

I could take issue on blurring rape and the legal incapability of consent in the scenario cited under the dress section, but it highlights a fairly important peripheral problem. If increased general awareness of rape related issues can be used to resolve this misconception, then good on you.Isaac, male

 I am very much a supporter of the campaign and think it’s a fantastic idea to try and stop within the country. However, I was somewhat disappointed to see that there is no reference to homosexual raping. This is the 21st century and yes same sex raping does occur. I think this is the reason why so many gay men don’t come forward and report the fact they have been raped, as it has been drummed into people that rape only happens when a man rapes a woman, which is clearly not the case. Being a victim myself, I feel it is important to highlight this point to the public and make them aware that men get raped aswell. I never reported anything myself, as I thought I hadn’t been raped, as it was never discussed growing up or at school when the teacher taught us about these aspects. Rape victims occur within both genders, so let’s get the word out and help prevent the next victim being raped.Craig , male

It's not just about revealing clothing, it's also about leading a man on. Look at it this way: if a woman wearing - shall we put it bluntly - slutty clothing and then spending all night rubbing against whatever sexy men she finds in the club / whatever, then it's pretty obvious that a woman is going to be put in the situation of "putting up or shutting up." You can talk about your pretty morals until you're blue in the face, but that won't change anything. It is a woman's fault, if she decides that she's going to tease men all night long. Obviously, I'm not condoning rape at all, but you're missing the fairly basic point that we live in a society of take: if someone sees that they can get something, consequence-free, they'll take it. That's the attitude you have to change. Most people will look at your poster, anyway, and just see a hot, sexy girl.Charlotte, female

 This site is ridiculous. We all know rape is bad already.Graeme, male

 This is pretty dumb, if a man goes out with a rolex in plain sight in a bad part of town who do you blame? Be smart.Alex, female

 TARA Whilst i agree that no means no and no women ever invites rape. I have to say that is is unfair to say that there is no such thing as a women "crying rape" Your accusation that people who say that are sexual deviants is offensive. I have never committed a sex crime in my life and the thought appauls me... However i cared for a female patient once who accussed me of rape. Rightly the system protected this woman and i was removed from her care. i was treated like dirt and looked upon with suspicion and doubt. I had done nothing wrong. 3 days later the woman admitted that nothing had happened to her and that she had made the accusation because i had insisted she not spend all day in her bed as it was bad for health. No action was ever taken against her and my career was severly damaged. I have a healthy sexual relationship with my long term girlfriend and no matter how aroused i am i allways accept no for an answer. I am no deviant. Rape is a disgusting crime that frankly sickens me but so does the idea of people using that accusation to get what they want. Please rememeber that people who do that make it harder for real victims to get the help and support they deserve.Daniel, male

All the bus stops on the main street in Aberdeen have your posters on one side, and the nude Keira Knightly 'Coco Mademoiselle' ones on the other side. Women must stand up for themselves and not dress like sluts if we are to avoid rape.Tara, female

 I'd just like to say i am disgusted by this campaign it makes all men in existance to all be rapists. This is not the case this is the same as the stupid campaign that all kids who where hoddies are thugs and only a minority of them are. This advert is sexist in the highest standard classifying every man the same. My best friend was accused of rape which he did not commit. He was so distraught he nearly commited suicide! its not just women who are the victims. When a women shouts rape wrongly where are all the help groups for the man who has done nothing wrong and is forced to walk the streets in shame scared to leave the house incase he is verbally of phyisically abused when walking to the shops because the girl who relised what she did was wrong and her boyfriend would dump her if he found out. In my opinion these adverts should be removed as they are sexist and are a one way dig at society inviting women to feel as though they have the upperhand.Scott, male

 "I know when and when not to have intercourse with someone. I know this is a serious subject but come on give us some credit." John, Male Apparently John the male doesn't understand the necessity of campaigns like this. Apparently John the male doesn't understand that 1 out of every 4 women being sexually assaulted, and with 96% of rapists being male constitutes an epidemic...Apparently John the male doesn't understand that according to these statistics from the DOJ website (u.s.) there is an epidemic of women being raped by men. Men who DON'T understand when it's okay and when it's NOT okay to have sex with a women. For all those men who are "insulted" by this...How about this, why don't you go out in the world and start a campaign of your own to STOP rape from happening in the first place. Why don't all you males who "supposedly understand" go out and educate all those other males out there that are out on the street raping women left and right. Gee it must be SOOOO nice to be male and be able to go out of your house without having to worry about being raped by a man. That's what we call "male privilege" and usually most men like to deny it even exists, as they are so blinded by their "male-ness" that this blindness causes most of them to be "insulted" by campaigns like this-one that point out that FACTS about rape. It shows that some men would rather blame women for their own rapes rather then look at the actual FACTS.Nic, female

By the way "mary"...about the drinking comment...So would you consider a girl who has some drinks, goes to sleep in her bed after a party (party still going on) and some guy picks the lock on her bedroom door and rapes her while she's sleeping. This happened to my friend, and the fact that you would think that she was even slightly at fault here is just sick. sick. sick. sick. sick. I'm sorry, but it's people like you who continue these myths, and it's people like you who need to be educated that drinking or anything else for that matter is not an invitation to rape. Just like it's NEVER okay to MURDER, and just like no one ever "ASKS TO BE MURDERED"...It's never okay to RAPE, and no matter what a women is wearing, doing, drinking, etc. it is never an invitation to rape. Your comments are deeply disturbing and it shows blatant victim blaming and outright hatred of women.Nic, female

This is definitely a step in the right direction to changing attitudes, but it is still a long way off. Rape is not always committed by a man, on a woman, sometimes by a man, on a man, or by a woman on a man, or a woman on a woman. None of these are any less traumatising than male on female rape.G, transgender

 This is a great campaign. I've always hated rapists. You hear about it happening, and you just want to destroy the asshole that did it down to his very soul. I am very passionate about it and I must say I'm very ashamed of my gender. Good luck, anything I can do to help I will.Kaleb, male

 Excellent. This is an amazing campaign. It's too bad a lot of people have missed the point, but I'm glad that you include their comments anyway, because it is extremely important that people are discussing this. Thank you!Rachael, female

I think your posters should have shown a wider cross-section of the population, (both male and female). Not all people who have been raped are good-looking with great self-esteem.Ali, female

I think lots of people make the mistake of thinking that tis campaign is targeting rapists.. it isn't. It is targeting wider society and prejudice and preconceptions in it about rape and how she could've expected it. Those are the harmful myths as they perpetuate victim blaming, permeate the legal system as well, and make it hard to 'come out' after suich an experience. Keep up the good work, and to all the guys feeling threatened by this campaign: f**k off - there's nothing inevitable about rape. It's mostly men who do it to women and when that happens, it's the man's fault, never hers. Period.irene, female

Brilliant campaign- about time someone tackled this head on. I wish we had a similar campaign south of the border.  David, male

What about all the young boys and men who are raped? This is a sexist campaign and totally ridiculous. I dont think men rape women because they didnt realise the woman was not actually asking for it. They rape women because they are overly horny, perverted people who want to have sex right there and then. Is this website aimed at people who were considering raping someone and will now change their mind? This is the most bizarre waste of time and money I have seen in a long time.Randy, Thijs, Troup, male

 Anything that can be done to stop rape is to be welcomed. Rape is the most disgraceful of all crimes. And some people forget it IS a crime.Kate, transgender

 Whilst I agree with some of the points this campaign is raising I believe it is rather imbalanced and unfortunately lacks the sense needed to be effective. I agree with raising awareness about the nature of many rape cases and how they are often within relationships or involve people known to the victim. However I believe there is a definite lack of emphasis placed on the responsibilities of women in rape cases, especially concerning alcohol. Recently while I was working in South America a female American colleague told me how she had gotten so drunk the previous evening that she had no idea how she returned home or with whom. I cannot honestly say that if she had been raped in such a situation that I would had a huge amount of sympathy. I also defy anyone to mount an argument that she would not have been partially to blame in such case. I imagine the response I will get is, “she may have been beyond decision in such matters, yet ultimately the man would have been responsible as he chose to rape her.” This is correct. However, it is very naïve to live without taking any responsibility for protecting yourself. Another issue that I’m not sure was mentioned on the site is the issue of giving consent while drunk. It has been suggested to alter the law so a woman could retract the consent of sex in a court of law if she was drunk at the time of giving it. If I got drunk and assaulted someone, I doubt I would walk free from court by telling the jury that I was too drunk to have known any better at the time. There is a very fine line of difference between the two cases here. I believe one is always responsible for there actions. The topics of clothing, intimacy and general behaviour do go rather hand-in-hand also. There seems to be some contradiction of culture with views on this. I would appreciate if someone could illustrate to me how our media culture and the clothing fashion it stems does not promote a sense of sexual prowess through clothing, or a lack of it. Maybe I am wrong on this, I’d appreciate anyone’s view. Ultimately, I absolutely fail to see how people see that a woman’s behaviour towards men who are often drunk and lacking in intelligence is not partially to blame for any unfortunate events. I am not suggesting that women should not be allowed to dress as they wish without fear of assault, but I do think a small amount of thought about behaviour could alter the reality of many cases of assault.Chris, female

 Great to see the Scottish Government wasting money on yet more Nanny and disjointed policy. Posting erotic images in bus stops of woman straddling men then saying 'this is not an invitation to rape me'. What a blanket approach to what 99.999% of the time is a good night out. I wonder how many young men are going to be paranoid that the morning after there are going to be acusations flying. Stupid Scottish Government. I am ashamed to be a Scot and an Edinburgher.Sandy, male

 all men are sick if they need to rape women!! especially if they use the most common excusses as " she was drunk,leading me on, wearin revealin clothing, and flirting with me!!!" there is just no need!! any woman has the right to wear what she wants and get as drunk as they want it doesnt mean that they are subject to rape and its most def not her fault!!!thereidsterr, male

 All these pathetic losers who are sayin that its ok to rape a women because of her being "drunk" or or dressed to HER prefrence are just using that as an excuse to excersice there sick fantisies upon unsuspecting women i think this is pathetic!! I dont understand why they cant just get a girlfriend? but even then they would no doubt try the same on there poor girlfriend too. and these people that have said that women should be taught how to dress accordingly and not be flirty and so on you would think the rapists would get the picture when the girl says "NO" you dont need lessons for that its there sick minds that choose not to listen!!Dannii, female

 I was raped by a man when I was a child. It is only recently that Glasgow has at last got a facility for male rape survivors. It was amongst the last in the UK to have one. I think the ads especially the one about marriage are anti-male, perpetuating the current myth amongst Andrea Dworkin types that marriage is made for men to abuse women and stop them being fully free etc. Rape of women should always be fought against, it's a pity it tends in a campaign like this to be driven by evidently embittered types who blur the boundaries to throw mud at men in general. Also, there is a difference between what happened to me, and many women, a stranger overpowering me and raping me in a secluded spot when I was just out going about myself; a difference between the violent rape that occurs in such circumstances and a situation where two people are drunk and they lead each other on to a point where later one has to argue whether there was a point of no return, or there has always to be a point of return. Forced sex is wrong and criminal, but don't call both of them the one word, "rape". That diminishes the full horror of what actually happened to me, to other children, and to other women who have been violently raped by strangers in the midst of their just going about their outdoor lives.Anthony, male

Quoting: "Hello everyone, This is Jane here from the interview. [...]you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex with anyone[...]" --- What on earth do you mean "after"?Guy, male

 Campbell (and Charlotte), just one thing: it is NEVER the person who was raped’s fault (no matter if they’re actually prostitutes), the decision to rape is always of the rapist (and hence he is accountable for it). Thanks for setting an example of why this campaign is so much needed. It is for people like you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be working…Linda, female

I saw the advert on a visit to Scotland, and was shocked and disgusted by the negative light that this portrays men in. By implication of the medium and it's target audience, there is a strong inference here that the male population is made up of potential rapists. As a civilised, law abiding citizen who respects women, I find it downright offensive that I should be preached to like this by people who have abused the liberal law of this country to broadcast a public slur against men. If you want to reduce the incidence of rape then I suspect you're going the wrong way about it.Doug, male

 I agree with earlier comment made. I do not agree with having a poster at bus shelters PROMOTING a womans breast. Yes, it may cause people to look and investigate and ask questions, but in my opinion it is distracting to motorists, bus users and is offensive. I fail to understand how this will prompt anyone to consider the issue of rape. I will be writing to advertising standards to complain. This area needs to be addressed and peoples opinions challenged but not in this way.Andy W, female

I have to say that I'm loving the posted with the errect nipples! Good to see that the UK prudish nature is being challenged. The more hidden or sexuality is the more likely we are to have innapropriate events happening, rape being the most serious. Good work!Ian, male

 I am utterly stunned at a lot of the responses by men on this site. They seem to have completely missed the point, either deliberately or because they really find it difficult to challenge their own thoughts. This site and campaign is not about changing rapists behaviours, if a campaign could do that, it surely would have already. It is about changing the community's attitude to survivors of rape. Changing it from one of "she was asking for it because..." to "A woman's 'NO' means 'NO'. Full stop." Yes, we know that men experience rape, yes, we know that women perpetrate rape, and we also know that there is no way to incorporate all aspects of this topic into one campaign. We know that women are overwhelmingly the majority of victims, and the victims of men. We also know that community attitudes can and DO change, and that this is always the place to start: in the community, talking to each other about it, challenging each other's ideas. Use this campaign as a starting point to discuss women perpetrators or men victims, and while you're at it, talk about the fact that NO victim EVER "asks for it" no matter their gender. And no rape victim EVER should take any amount of blame.Erin, female

I hate to sound like a prude, but I only like seeing nipples and breasts when I'm about to have sex with their owner. Yes, I know they stick out and are pretty obvious, but is the woman above trying to make me erect? Granted, it's not an invitation to rape. But to me it is an invitation to say "For pete's sake woman, go home and put some proper clothes on"Lawtears, male

 This website is amazing. Keep spreading the word and empowering women!Sophie, female

 I am deeply shocked by numerous comments on this site. I appreciate there may be concerns over the execution of the campaign, and I understand concerns relating to shock tactics and sexualisation of women. But the execution and the actual message are two different issues. I was particularly appalled by Tara's comments relating to dressing like sluts- I was only just 17 when I was sexually assaulted. By my boss. I had a boyfriend of two years. And in fact the evening it happened I was wearing my chefs whites as I worked in a kitchen. He was not a stranger, but a man I looked up to, a person I had known for months and whom I hd spent a lot of time with-I considered him to be a friend. This experience has not skewed my opinion of men-they are not all evil, sick or potential rapists. This campaign does not infer that in any way, Scott I think you are taking a rather extremist view. To Sandy I ask-how can you possibly liken my experience to a 'good night out'? This campaign is to get people thinking, and for anyone in doubt of the views held by adolescents, or views generally pleas go and search sexual violence on You Tube and see how many people see it as a serious issue. And to John, your comment about 'mixed signals' clearly indicating 'wanting a bit' is a prime example of how rape is belittled and is perpetuated. If I, as a consenting adult (this does not apply to children) of any sex choose to give oral sex for example, it does not mean that I wish to have full penetrative sex. All it takes is a simple question: do you want to... The point of rape is that this choice is not available to the victim. I also agree that sexual assaults do include same sex and also women raping men-both of which are equally disgusting and need to be addressed. This is in no way a hate campaign towards men-but as this forum has pointed out, there are so many attitudes still in need of changing.anna , female

 Further to my previous comment, I also want to say that what happened would have happened no matter what I was wearing, if the mentality and intent is there nothing that will stop it.anna , female

 I'm curious. I understand that dressing in revealing clothing isn't an invitation to rape, nor is using intimacy or drinking or being in a relationship; but what if a woman combines more than one of those? If she's wearing revealing clothing AND being intimate, is that an invitation? What if she's doing three? Please help me out on this important manner, many thianks.David, male

 Educate and prepare young men to be good citizens, ads like this do nothing to prevent rape, they only serve to stir paranoia amongst the female population.Rick, male

 To Tara. My ex-friend cried rape. She did this because she had sex with him and didn't want her boyfriend to leave her. The man she accused had to leave school, and was severely beaten several times (twice giving him an extended stay in the hospital) , and was disowned by his family and friends who thought he had committed such a horrible, violent act. I'm not suggesting that every rape victim is crying rape, but it does happen.Penelpoe, female

 This is an excellent idea.Cat, female

Where does it say ALL men rape? WHERE? If you feel so targeted by these ads, perhaps there is a reason.Alan, male

To the men of this forum: When victims of rape and sexual assualt and harassment speak, be quiet, and listen. Taking everything as a personal attack/statement lies at the very heart of male privelige and trivialies the victim, it says: I'm more important than you, what I think is more important than what you think. Why is it so hard for you to listen? What have you invested in protecting already formed ideas? Why is feminisim made out to be a word that can be used by men to attack women? Isn't that an inherently misogynistic contradiction?Linda, transgender

Great advert but can anyone tell me as I stand at a bustop with my 7yr old son how to explain what rape means?I believe strongly that there is a time and place for adverts like this, nightclubs,bars etc but on the side of a bus shelter? And is it only men that rape? I really dont see the logic in these posters its like trying to tell smokers that its bad for you. If someone,male or female, yes female as well, weants to rape a poster isnt going to change their mind. Not all men rape,not all men are after one thing.We do have a mind as well.Billy, male

 Disgusting, sexist and sickening campaign! It makes all men feel like criminals!mark Prendergast, male

 I would like to see a similar campaign in Canada. All too often I hear how it is my fault as women if I am raped or if my partner is violent with me. Love the shock value.kat, female

 Rapes are committed predominantly by men against women. Why is pointing this out "demonizing men"? Why is mentioning that marital rape actually happens somehow "anti-marriage"? This is a campaign to raise awareness of the issue of rape by men against women. Want to start your own campaign of rape against men? Be my guest. No one is stopping you. But to present the cases equally would be a disservice to the vast amounts of women who have been raped compared to men. This campaign challenges commonly held doctrines that it's not rape when they're married, it's not rape when she's drunk, and it's not rape when she's being "sexually provocative" (whether through flirting or clothing.) And Anthony? Rape IS forced sex, no matter what the circumstances. The majority of rape is not committed by strangers, the majority of rape is not committed on men. You misunderstand the campaign.Anonymous, female

I was so thrilled to see this site, and so disappointed with so many of the comments. Nothing in this campaign claims that all men are rapists, or that all rapists are men. It's about women recognising their personal and legal rights. Can you imagine someone having their car stolen, and being told "Well, it's your fault for driving your car to this area of town" ? Though it sounds ridiculous in reference to a car, many, many rape victims are told or lead to believe that it's (partly) their fault. People have the right to not have their cars stolen, regardless of where they drive, and likewise, people (both men and women) have the right not to be raped, regardless of what they wear or whether they've had anything to drink. It worries me that even when people are directly told this, they still don't believe it. Even if this campaign doesn't prevent rape from occuring, hopefully it will at least help victims understand that in no way are they responsible for being sexually assaulted.Steph, female

Are all men rapists? Of course not, but the overwhelming majority of rapists ARE men. If we ignore this fact we will never get at the core of why this ad campaign is needed so badly in the first place. So to all of you men who "respect" women, let's ask ourselves as men--how do we respect women? is it only BECAUSE they are "our" wives (and then we do not have to extend that respect to ensuring ALL our sex is consensual and mutual?), do we respect them only FOR their bodies, do we respect them as long as they don't dress a certain way, don't act a certain way and don't speak a certain way? I say that is not respect at all, it is control. Real respect is examining our attitudes and the myths that perpetuate them and dedicating ourselves to change. Kudos to Scotland!Chris, male

Scarleteen -- the best online sex education site has a very important page for men on how not to be a rapist. We should tatoo this bit on our sons' forearms  ...When someone wants to, really wants to, have sex with us, we'll know because that person will be taking a very active role, will be saying -- if not yelling! -- "Yes!" or "Please!” or "Do me NOW!" We may know because that person is the one initiating sex, at least as often as we are. (If you’re going to say that younger women just aren’t like that yet, know that isn’t always true. Some are, but those who aren’t likely aren’t because things are either moving too fast, or they really just aren’t ready for or that interested in sex with you yet.) We'll know because it will feel like something we are absolutely doing together, that couldn't happen if the other person wasn't just as engaged as we are (imagine trying to dance with someone else when they’re just standing there or not really paying attention: same goes with sex). We'll know because our partners will absolutely not "just be lying there." We can easily be sure never to rape someone by making a choice to ONLY have sex with someone else when we are certain we have not only their full consent, but their full interest and attention, and they ours; when they’re clearly as enthusiastic about sex as we are, and we’re just as excited about their enjoyment as we are our own.....Randomizer, male

I feel that rape is a horrible crime, which impacts on the lives of many, and support any organisations which encourage disscusion of it. However, I do feel that the campaign does miss the mark. The issues surrounding males who rape usually involve their own values of what is in their eyes acceptable, and a few posters here and there will not change this. I feel that a better angle for the campaign would have been to encourage women to be more self aware. I believe that women should be free to wear what they choose and so on... however I believe a certain level of responsibility should be acknowledged. unfortunatly rapists exist in our society and therefore we as women should acknoledge this. This is the same to say that we acknoledge that paedophiles exist and we therefore should not leave our children vunerable to them.sarah, female

 I see woman who have been victims of rape daily, they are traumatised, broken and their lives are destroyed. All women have a right to wear what they want when they want, drink what they want and be proud of their sexuality, this does not invite men to assume they want sex. A lot of these women have been druged, kidnapped and misled into dangerous, volatile situations. They did not knowingly do this, they just trusted the people they were with, or lost their friends. I believe we all have a responsibility to protect women and children against any violence. I would ask of all women that if you are out you must be aware of your safety, dont be alone. I am sorry for this but we live in a cruel and dangerous world at times. I must also point out that most men are wonderful, kind and as horrified at violent attacks as women are. I am shocked at some of the male comments though, but appreciate they have targeted this site with their misguided, ignorant opinions which they really should keep to themselves. I will continue to work extremely hard towards a society that sees rape as the serious, appalling crime that it is and try to raise the prosecution and conviction rate. I believe that any campaign to raise awareness to woman and men must be a good one. Thankyou TeresaTeresa Snr A&E Nursing Sister, female

 diasagree with rape.but also disagre with how some of your topics are explained.no, just because a woman is drunk isn't an invitation to rape that is true BUT she should be aware of the dangers of excessive drinking.although rape isn't anyones choice how much you drink ISGaskell, male

If there is an invitation, then it's not rape.Matt, male

It's funny how a woman's nipple in a rape campaign advert is "distracting" when naked or scantily clothed women are advertising all sorts, Andy W.Rebecca, female

 I don't get all the comments from people saying 'how dare this campaign say all men are rapists?'. Where does it say that? Saying that the majority of rapes are committed by men is true, and no-one can argue with that, but none of the images or the text on the site says that all men are rapists? It seems like it's easy to dismiss the images and write off people who are trying to get us to think about our opinions. It is not just for those who rape but everyone in society, as we are the jurors, the family members, the friends that can make a difference in changing our opinions and making sure that victims are not blamed. It seems like the easy option to just dismiss this rather then really engage.Annie, female

The mere fact that Andy W has viewed this site probably justifies the use of the image of the bra-less woman with a largely unbuttoned top. It's a shock tactic: it got Andy W's attention, it caught mine, it will catch a lot of others. The idea of the billboard adverts is to direct people to this website. The more people who see them, the greater the views of the website. Job don. Excellent campaign.TS, male

 I remember the Lyndsay Armstrong case. I also remember that the Judge or Sherriff who led the investigation into her suicide asked why she was depressed. He just couldn't understand the negitive affect that the rape and the humilation of the court case had on her. It is so sad that there are so many people out there, both men and women, who are too humilated to come forward to report this discusting crime. Attitudes have to change.Claire Casey, female

I commend John Smith on his post. It basically covered exactly what every male should be feeling after seeing this campaign. A complete and utter waste of money, the campaign appears ignorant and its 'this is not an invitation to rape me' slogan is degrading. To all the supports of the campaign, kudos to you for being ignorant. Do you not think there would be a better way to address the problem? Education is certainly the way forward to prevent rape, however being hypocritical and having a biased view towards rape is certainly not the way forward. I am empathetic to anyone that has posted here who has been raped and I know I'll never go through what you went through, however the fact is your emotions cloud your judgment. It is the plain and simple truth, and I understand on a topic like this there really shouldn't be a plain and simple truth.John Doe, male

Wow niiice website.BOB., transgender

While there is no excuse for rape, pornography is also dangerous and destructive to society. When women dress in revealing clothing they become pornography.Dalaney , male

Honestly, this is hardly going to cut rapes. Rape is the worst crime anyone can commit EXCEPT for lying about being raped.Andrew, male

The campaign is disgusting. How dare you blatently go 'after' men. Rape is not just something that can happen to women.scott, male

Teach modesty in dress and behaviour, and try and change the lewd society we live in. Women need to understand men don't think logically when they are aroused, and its the way they dress and act that arouses men, who even if they do nothing to you, may go after someone else instead.James, male

Sadly so many of you seemed to have completely missed the point- the adverts are not intended to stop rapists but to change/challenge the general public (men AND women) and their attitudes to rape and blame. It does not address the issue of male or child rape because it is just one campaign and cannot highlight every issue that arises in connection with sexual abuse. It does not demonize men, it challenges damaging opinions. Think before you type people!!Joanne, female

Who are you to define the acceptable limits of self control? If you hold fresh meat out to a tiger don't be surprised if he take your arm as well. Why should our natural desires be smothered to satisfy the bitter minds of the small minority who wish to neuter mankind?Pete, male

Seriously guys - stop blaming the ladies like its their fault for being raped!! They have the choice to wear what they want and get however drunk that they want - rape is not their choice though!! Thats the guys choice which is soooo wrong!! Have some respect for the ladies!!Chris, male

Judging by the comments made by most of the males on this site, this campaign was MUCH needed. The men feel insulted, and attacked, and feel as if they do not need reminders to not rape a woman. WAKE UP GUYS!! If you didn't need reminders, we wouldn't be having this debate! This site exists because of the huge number of men who apparently DO need to be reminded not to rape women. And just maybe it may dispel enough myths for our youth so that rape is not so prevalent in the next generation. It is a shame we can't count on the fathers to teach this lesson.Stephanie, female

To all those guys that say that if a woman dresses provocatively she is asking to be raped, answer this: I see you, dressed as a plumber, in your van. Does that mean I can drag you out at knife point, march you up to my flat and force you to fix my kitchen sink? Just because you're dressed as a plumber? Just think about what you're saying next time you wheel out that old argument.Anon, female

So it's OK for a guy to be raped if he's wearing a kilt? Coz chances are he's not gonna be wearing anything under that kilt, so you know, he's asking for it, isn't he?Scots lassie, female

This whole campaign disturbs me. The fact that in the year 2008 the public still "has" to be warned that rape is something that you shouldnt do is absolutly rediculous. If that is the case, then the campaign is a good idea. However the execution of the Ads are AWFUL! One I seen went something like this... "RAPE. a kiss is not a contract, a feel is not consent and a hard-on doesn't give you the right to force yourself inside a women." All this does in my view is give the Family Guy generation a right good giggle. Now, dont get me wrong I dont think rape is funny. FAR FROM IT. However, this kind of campaign in this day of age cannot be taken seriously. Which is a shame. Because the issue obviously still needs to be pressed home.Simon, male

James male you have just written exactly what this campaign is trying to prove. Rape has nothing to do with what a woman wears or how modestly she behaves ....unfortunately modestly dressed and behaving women are also raped. Scotland I commend you on this campaign. Its consciousness raising is really needed worldwide.erica, female

Pete-- so, men have desires and women don't? Women have to control themselves *and* men while men have no responsibility? If someone nicked a chocolate bar out of your hands, would you be saying, "Ah, must be a chocolate craving-- I shouldn't eat chocolate in public" or would you have thought "Have some self control!!!!"? The usual idea in society is that we are each responsible for our own actions. Which means that yes, men will have to exercise some self control. If your "desires" are that strong, let me introduce you to a way to take the edge off without neutering you: your right (or left) hand. And I'll leave your chocolate in peace. We're human beings, not animals and I for one am proud of that!Kirstin, female

I've never seen such a load of biased, agressive, feminist crap in my life. If your "poster child" doesn't want sex she should keep her hands out of the lad's trousers!Amanda, female

I think even if a woman would walk naked, nothing would give you the right to simply jump at her and rape her. I mean, how cruel can you be? Do men have not a single trace of humanity in their head, and simply feast their lusts upon a woman, claiming afterwards "They were dressed suggestively?" Disgusting, downright disgusting.Kenyi, male

I think this is an excellent campaign, although most of the comments here seem to miss the point of 'This Is Not An Invitation...' I was raped seven years ago by an ex-boyfriend. I was dressed up to the nines, on a night out with friends, and drinking alcohol - I was drunk. He followed me home and broke into my house, and raped me while I was passed out in my own bed. The following day my friends said that I must have let him in the house, that it was not rape because I had been drunk and could not be certain I hadn't consented, he was an ex afterall. With reactions like that from close friends I quickly realised I would have no chance with the police, and decided to save myself a lot of heartache. I even doubted whether it was "rape," had I in some way asked for it by wearing a mini-dress and getting drunk? It really messes with your head, and it took me a long time to come to terms with the whole thing. Bottom line was, I didn't want to have sex with him, I didn't consent (being unconscious makes that quite difficult) and he had sex with me anyway. That's what this campaign is about - telling women like me that we are victims, and did not in any way ask for or deserve to go through such an ordeal.Kitty, female

i completely agree with this campaign alot of the public need to be a bit more open minded when it comes to rape and not think that the way women dress is to attract male attention i have in the past wore revealing clothes that some might find "slutty" but i wore it as i thought i looked good not so men would look at me i was sexually abused by a friend of my dads when i was growing up is that to mean it was my fualt as i wore dresses and skirts. i understand the men thast have wrote on this page as men are portrayed as the most common type of rapist but no one is suggesting that all men are rapists and that its only women who get raped we all know it isnt xxk, female

i dont care if you are male,female,transgender, straight gay or lesbian. rape against anyone has to be stopped. this sight is not targeting men. it is trying to deal with the issue of the CRIME. it should not matter if a woman is wearing lots or very little clothes or if she is drunk. no one would say "well you should have held your handbag tighter and you wouldnt have been mugged" or if you locked the wheels on your car it wouldnt have got stole in the first place. get a grip here people. rape should be seen the same as any other serious crime and should be dealt with in the same manner. personally. i would shoot any male or female that raped. i dont see why my tax should keep them in comfort. a bullet if bought in bulk costs next to nothing.Linda fae Glasgow., female

to Linda. transgender. Well said. good for you.Linda. Orkney, female

A sentiment expressed repeatedly by many women on this site is that 'men have completely missed the point of the campaign.' Well isn't that telling that it's an ineffective and confusing message?! What a shameless waste of money and a cynical side-swipe at men by people who should know better!! Reminds me why I want to move out of this country.Duncan, male

James 'Women need to understand men don't think logically when they are aroused, and its the way they dress and act that arouses men, who even if they do nothing to you, may go after someone else instead.' and Pete 'Why should our natural desires be smothered to satisfy the bitter minds of the small minority who wish to neuter mankind' What an insult to men - and you say we are anti-men!EM, female

This is an outrage!! Its a great cause, but the subliminal impact on the psyche has the opposet effect of what you are trying to promote. You promote through the use of billboards with an image that activates pleasure in the brain then the word rape next to it, linking the word to the feeling, meaning that seeing the billboard makes you more likely to commit rape. Psychological fact! There is no rape problem until its influenced through the medias manipulation, a good exmple of is our "kernel of truth" which is ruthlessly exploited to exaggerate the danger and thus increase readership or viewership to the mass population. see the effect? I do support the cause but the range of ideas need to be reviewed. Peace, Insight. For music with substance goto myspace.com/mcinsightinsight, male

This is an excellent campaign - people need to change their views on this subject and hopefully this will highlight the major myths! But I also cant believe the men complaining about this site, actually have the cheek to leave a comment!! It only highlights the cave man within them!KLP, female

I think this campaign is missing the point. Of course none of the your pictures depict "invitations to rape". But that's a far cry from your implicit message, that women should be able to feel entitled to do any of these things safely. Human sex is basically no different from animal sex. Animals respond to sexual signals, and so do people. The things your women are doing will sexually stimulate men. Sometimes, this stimulation will be strong enough for primitive male instinct to overwhelm civilised restraint - result: rape. Are the men responsible for this? Should they be? A more responsible campaign would be to downplay "rights" and "blame" and emphasize cause and effect. Women doing the things you're picturing are likely to get raped. What's wrong with a bit of discretion? No, they're not responsible - irresponsible seems more like it. Maybe a bit of sex education could help here.Alan Mackenzie, male

=( I can't believe we're still doing this sort of thing. Why do we as a people go from one extreme to the other? NO- dressing sexy is not a invitation for rape, but it's also not the opposite extreme- dressing well and stylish but not WHOREISH. It's staggering to think that your actions have no consequences. This is the progressive way of thinking. Yes, getting drunk and then raped is partly your fault for not staying in CONTROL. Drugs/Drinking impairs judgement. Don't do something the night before that cause you to feel ashamed about it later and scream rape. No I'm not saying rape is made up, but I am saying that some CONSENTUAL SEX is later deemed rape when it's not. Stop acting like animals people. Take control of yourselves and lives, and take responsibility for your own actions. Sadly, Rape is NOT ALWAYS Rape. And yes rape crisis centers are extremely underfunded, victims need all the help they can get especially at a time like that.Chris, male

So, Chris, do you think that out of all the people who report a rape, less than 10% are telling the truth? what about people who don't report it because views like yours, and many other narrow minded, under educated people who have commented on this site, have made them think it's their own fault? Or that there's no point, because they won’t get a conviction anyway? The campaign isn't to decide when rape allegations are true; it's to stop people getting away with it. Men who have said on this forum that women can't expect them to control their urges - you're disgusting. The majority of men CAN and DO control their urges: I’ve asked a man to stop half-way through sex before, and it was not a problem. Men DO have the capacity for self control, and the fact that you don’t, or expect other men not to, says more about you and your animalistic tendencies than anything else. The point of the campaign is to prevent rape by encouraging women not to feel ashamed, and encouraging courts and juries to see past excuses that put the blame on women. Men rape (not all of them, I know, and women do it too ...) because they get away with it, by simply saying "oh but she was drunk" or "she danced provocatively with me". If we can break through these myths, maybe the minority of men who think about rape, will think again.Stacy, female

I don't care if a girl stood up on a bar completely naked, if she said no she said no. nothing else matters.Mary, female

Sory Tom, I have to disagree with you. I wear nice clothes, some are expensive. This say 'I have money'. and is not an invitation to steal from me.Allan, male

Do you seriously think that this is going to stop a single rape? Good guys don't need to be reminded how to rape, and assholes are not going to come to your little website and be like "oh I respect woman now." How about instead of encouraging getting as drunk as you want, and dressing as whoreish as you want, you address the actual issues behind rape. This site seems more like a penis bashing center then a website for legitimate discourse.GOD, male

Tom, what bearing does a tendency towards more revealing clothes have upon the likelihood of assault? Such an argument is not only an insult to women but to men as well - implying that they have no self control when they see a woman dressed appealingly. You have missed the entire point of this campaign. Women should be able to wear what they like, safe in the knowledge that men will understand that they have enough mental competence to communicate to them, through WORDS, their willingness (or unwilllingness) to have sex - since when does a short skirt have more of a say than a human being's voice?erin, female

The campaign is so necessary - as we can see from many of the comments - it does not aim to demonise men, just to challenge the general pre-conceived notions held in society. The view that women invite rape or encourage it are held, surely, because of ignorance and fear, this is why any campaign which attampts to bust taboos and open a forum for discussion should be commended. Some of the men';s comments are kind of contradictory; women shouldn't see all men as potential rapists (which we don't - we aren't all paranoid) but we should cover up and protect ourselves?? Hopefully seeing this campaign will make people who hold such believes think about their motives and reasoning behind the comments...The people behind this campaign do great work with survivors of rape and so they should know a bit about why and how it happens. Ignorance is bliss - we are happy to live our lives not seeing or caring about the number of people (men and women and children) who are raped - in their home, their place of work, somewhere they previously felt safe or on the street. It's no wonder women fear rape - I know people who it has happened to, I know boys who had to run from attackers in Kelvingrove and I have been sexually assaulted myself. Sadly most women my age have been the victim of assault at some point - whether that's a guy approaching me and being sexual or threatening, or shoving his hand up my skirt, touching my breasts or bum. How dare he think my body is his to violate?? I don't deny men the same right to own their body and to raise their voice in protest against abuse - we are all human beings; from birth we have the right not to be violated. Sadly in this world very few of us go to the grave with this right untransgressed. Just cause it happens so much DOES NOT mean it's ok, it DOES NOT mean campaigns like this shouldn't be out in the open. If things are ever to improve, if survivors (of all kinds) are to get better justice and better help then we've got to change our attitudes as a culture; break the cycle of ignorance and teach our children what is right.Sarah - student, female

I'm completely against rape, regardless of whether it is a woman or a man that is the victim, but this campaign angers me whenever i see the the posters on the bus-stop simply becuase my cousin was raped when she was 13 and i can only imagine what goes through her head when she see's these posters! It all come's down to common sense! People who know right from wrong KNOW that these are not 'invitations to rape' someone! The rapists simply are sick individuals who should be castrated, end of! But i don't think it's really appropriate to have poster's of girl's with their nipple showing in public places, did the marketing department fail to recognise that kids walk these streets also!Brian, male

Actually Chris, how about a woman being raped is the man's fault because he LOST CONTROL. What kind of man has sex with a woman who isn't all there? One committing a crime. Unfortunately a woman getting drunk can be making herself more vulnerable but only if she is around men who are rapists and have the potential to do a crime which is what rape is.Lyndsay, female

I think that its shocking that because of the way that women and girls dress we ''appear'' to be wanting to have sex with a guy....The answer to this is no we don't no, we wear what we want like guys get to wear whatever they want basically. I'm an 17 year old girl and I dress differently to other people,but it doesnt mean that I' asking for sex! The way that a woman or girl dresses never means that they want anything from it!Anonymous, female

Nobody is saying that anything excuses rape. Only that it is irresponsible to do things which increase it's chance of occuring when the benefits of said actions clearly do not outweigh the added risk. If a car is stolen, it is very clear that a crime has been committed. If someone is raped, it is word vs word, a much harder situation to evaluate. That is why the potential victims need to take on even more responsibility to prevent it, regardless of their right to wear assless chaps to a party. Men take on similar burdens in the form of precautions that wouldn't be necessary if rape didn't exist. You are looking at the issue as men vs women and asking "Why should women have to do anything? They don't deserve to be raped." This is inefficient and offensive in a convoluted way. However, I think you should be looking at the issue as decent people vs rapists and ask "What can we do to make the world better in regards to rape?" Trust me, men hate rapists as much as you do. It is our girlfriends, wives, mothers, sisters and daughters being raped afterall. This campaign targets non-rapists and tells them it's not ok to rape... will provoke more false claims of rape than it will prevent anything. Think about it.Anonymous, male

I agree with ChrisMhairi Cucki, female

the statistics are so appaling. one in three women (in australia, not sure UK figures) experience violence in their lifetime, the majority experiencing rape, sexual assault, or childhood sexual abuse. Think about it this way: If we had any other public health crisis that threatened to affect one in three of half the world's population - governments would immediately jump into emergency mode, systems would be completely overwhelemed to the point of shut down, and no one would tell the victims "well, it's your fault you got infected by this disease". And yet, when it comes to the sexual violence epidemic, the exact opposite is happening. Governments are taking money away from domestic violence shelters and rape crisis centers, women are being constantly reminded that it is they who are at fault, and many are often ignored by the systems designed to protect them. I have never encountered any other crime that blames the victim for being a victim, so why should rape be any different. Education and awareness campaigns should be supported regardless of the form they take, and this one is no exception. I got onto this cause via your facebook page and I am now inspired to take up the issue and try and get a similar campaign going here. I'm a survivor too (i think that became obvious earlier in my post) and I have had severe run-ins with the sexist re-inforcement of ideas that this campaign seeks to address. More Power to us I say :)Mel from Australia, female

If you are married then of course at some point your partner will expect to have sex with you. This does not give anyone the right to force intercourse on someone, wheather you have been married for 10 years or been in a relationship for 1 day.K., female

I am interested to see that the majority of voices in favour of this website self-identify as female, and that the majority not in favour identify as male. I wonder why? Really, why? What's going on here?Lupie, transgender

Is it just me, or does this whole thing seem to imply that rape only ever happens to women by men? Sexist, much?Alex, female

every girl is intitled to wear what she wishes weather it be an incredibly short skirt and a skin tight top or an ankle length all over dress. the point is we should all be able to live freely without the fear that we could be raped. any man that feels he has the tight to rape a woman becasue of what she is wearing is very wrong they dont have a right at all!E, female

In response to the last comment. No one is saying that young girls should dress in a sexually suggestive manner, it is just the suggestion that someones choice of clothing means the rapist is less responsible for their actions i have problems with. As though treating men like they are animals unable to control themselves in such a scenario is not as demeaning to them as it is to us women. When you see people dressed suggestively you do not think it gives you any right to violate them and neither will other reasonable people. Someone may be naive in dressing scantily and flirting. However if someone is foolish enough to leave their door unlocked one night and a burglar walks in holds them at gunpoint and forces them to hand over their belongings you dont say well as they asked for it he should get a lesser sentence... do you?killerheels, female

How can people blame us woman? If we say no it means no!! It doesnt matter what we wear, it isnt out fault! How people can say its the rape victims fault I dont know! You put yourself in the position of the victim. Would you like to be the one sitting thinking im the one to blame for being raped? I dont think so. Great campaign keep up too good work!! xAnonymous, female

Tom, women can wear what ever the they want to and it's none of your business! Your opinions, as someone who has never had to deal with sexism in your life, are completely irrelevant.Jimmy, male

I feel so angry reading some of the comments from men and women regarding this subject,as i was raped not that long ago and had the courage to report the rape by a so called friend after a night out and have had to deal with threats from his associates as well as other people saying i shouldnt have gone back to his place, etc. i know i am in no way to blame for him taking what he wanted but its comments like what im reading here which makes so many women hesitent about taking the case to the police in the first place. I have suffered severe aggresion levels,post traumatic stress as well as being put on valium to deal with the aftermath of the rape as its not only my body that was raped but my mind and soul as well and i will never be the same person again, a bit of me died that night, oh a ps i was wearing jeans at the time so good on rape crisis for havin the courage to change public perception of rape victims.s, female

For all the people who state that they are offended by the campaign and that it has been executed badly. How would you run it? What issues would you highlight? How would you better it? It is easy to criticise, but you really should state what alternatives you propose! Incidently, there are some very disturbing attitudes towards rape victims on this page. Obviously this campaign is much needed. Well done.Mary, female

Rape is one of the most utterly disgusting things anyone can do to anyone else. I recently had a scare when mg fiance was chased home by some drunk guy. Thankfully she managed to make it home and slam the door in his face just in time. Any perveted guys out there should imagine how it would feel if it was their sister, girlfriend, wife, grandmother or daughter being raped. Even the horror you yourself were beaten and raped by someone. There is never any excuse for it, this campaign needs yet more publicity if anything.H, male

I forgot to respond to one particular comment: "No means not [sic] at all times and you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex with anyone from the opposite or same sex." Do you mean to imply that if two people have sex, and one of them decides later that they didn't really want to, the act suddenly becomes rape? That's patently ridiculous. What if you and I had sex, and I decided afterwards that I didn't really want to? Now you're a rapist? Give me a break.Jesse, male

please read..you too can have freedom like me. be strong. http://www.northern-scot.co.uk/news/fullstory.php/aid/6795/No_more:_Rape_victim_speaks_out.htmlnicky-elgin, female

I agree that all are myths.. bar one of them!! I have some squibbles with the myth concerning alcohol. I dont believe ANYTHING to be an invitation to be raped, however, I feel that blaming the rape on being drunk is not acceptable because you were not in a fit state to look after yourself due to your own actions and your own mistake of drinking too much. We have too much of a nanny state in the UK and have to start taking responsibility for our own actions. mary, female -thisAnonymous, male

I agree that all are myths.. bar one of them!! I have some squibbles with the myth concerning alcohol. I dont believe ANYTHING to be an invitation to be raped, however, I feel that blaming the rape on being drunk is not acceptable because you were not in a fit state to look after yourself due to your own actions and your own mistake of drinking too much. We have too much of a nanny state in the UK and have to start taking responsibility for our own actions. mary, female -thisDaniel, male

The frustrating point about rape and sexual assault is that it makes you question yourself rather than the attacker question himself. I think it is important that men become more introspective and empathetic with respect to this issue. Unfortunately, I think the anti-rape cause is not a priority for many men.S, female

I have to say that I am disgusted by some of the comments that people have posted. I was raped on holiday. I had put on a nice dress for a night out, and yes, it was a short, perhaps slightly slutty dress, but it was hot. I went out, and after maybe two or three drinks i got talking to a man. I never at any point insinuated that i would have sex with him. Foolishly i let him buy me drinks, and the rest of the evening is a blur. All i remember is waking up terrified and sore the next day. I then had to go through the trauma of flashbacks and HIV tests. So was it the fact that I was drinking that made it acceptable for the b*stard to rape me? Was it the dress? Was it the fact that he put something in my drink? No, it was none of these, I did nothing wrong. But because there are so many negative views towards women in my situation, like those written, I never reported it, thinking I would be laughed out the police station as another stupid british girl. What is being said makes me sick. I don't dress the way I do when I go out to tittilate men, I do it to make myself feel good. I would just like to say that I don't think anyone would be saying it was the person's fault they got raped, whether it was due to alcohol or provocative dress, if they had gone through this hell,. Have a little compassion.Marie, female

I have to say that I am disgusted by some of the comments that people have posted. I was raped on holiday. I had put on a nice dress for a night out, and yes, it was a short, perhaps slightly slutty dress, but it was hot. I went out, and after maybe two or three drinks i got talking to a man. I never at any point insinuated that i would have sex with him. Foolishly i let him buy me drinks, and the rest of the evening is a blur. All i remember is saying no, then waking up terrified and sore the next day. I then had to go through the trauma of flashbacks and HIV tests. So was it the fact that I was drinking that made it acceptable for the b*stard to rape me? Was it the dress? Was it the fact that he put something in my drink? No, it was none of these, I did nothing wrong. But because there are so many negative views towards women in my situation, like those written, I never reported it, thinking I would be laughed out the police station as another stupid british girl. What is being said makes me sick. I don't dress the way I do when I go out to tittilate men, I do it to make myself feel good. I would just like to say that I don't think anyone would be saying it was the person's fault they got raped, whether it was due to alcohol or provocative dress, if they had gone through this hell,. Have a little compassion.Marie, female

I think this website needs to address an issue-there are many people writing that this campaign will not prevent rape. It needs to be clear this campaign is not to prevent rape. It is to change the attitudes towards women who have been raped and change the way they are treated by the law and everyone around them. It is common place for women to treat rape victims as though they were "asking for it", this is not about how men treat women but how society treats them. It also has nothing to do with male rape victims, they face a completely different type of stigma which needs to be addressed in a different campaign. Homosexual rape doesn't have enough research yet for a targetted message like this, until it does, different approaches need to be made than public advertising campaigns.Wade, female

Daniel, are you saying that if a person happens to be drunk (be it male or female) and they get raped, then they just have to accept this and the rapist is excused? Then that would really be a nanny state. It would be a green light for potential rapists to act with impunity while being offered complete protection. You say you do not believe anything to be an invitation to rape? Well, that is clearly not the case. Most people have gotten hammered at some stage in their lifes, even you I would imagine. Yes, it's a bit silly, but it happens. If you were sexually assualted or raped while you had been drunk, would you just accept it as collateral damage and forget about it?Mary, female

Dear Daniel, this is as much to protect men as women , the sad truth is there is such a thing as facilitated sexual assualt, where a perp. will target a woman due to the amount of alcohol she has drunk, which in turn makes her less able to physically resist, makes her confused and dsiorientated, this is used against her to commit the crime. A woman is more at risk from assualt if she has drunken too much but having said that the blame lies on the perp, a woman should be allowed to drink as much as a man if she chooses to do so and visa versa, however whether you like it or not when it comes down to the lega definition of consent, capacity to consent is an essential element...having worked in the medical profession, i wouldnt dream of saying that a patient had the capacity to consent to an operation if he or she was intoxiacted. It is against the law to use alcohol to render a person helpless to the point they are unable to fight back.....it isnt about blaming anyone for being srunk it is about not allowing people to take advantage of a person who is rendered incapacitated....it is no different from date rape drugs, in fact alcohol is the most commonly used date rape drug that is used to facilitate an assault that is pre-medited.polka, female

Dear Daniel, this is as much to protect men as women , the sad truth is there is such a thing as facilitated sexual assualt, where a perp. will target a woman due to the amount of alcohol she has drunk, which in turn makes her less able to physically resist, makes her confused and dsiorientated, this is used against her to commit the crime. A woman is more at risk from assualt if she has drunken too much but having said that the blame lies on the perp, a woman should be allowed to drink as much as a man if she chooses to do so and visa versa, however whether you like it or not when it comes down to the legal definition of consent, capacity to consent is an essential element...having worked in the medical profession, i wouldnt dream of saying that a patient had the capacity to consent to an operation if he or she was intoxiacted. It is against the law to use alcohol to render a person helpless to the point they are unable to fight back.....it isnt about blaming anyone for being drunk it is about not allwoing people to take advantage of a person who is rendered incapacitated....it is no different from date rape drugs, in fact alcohol is the most commonly used date rape drug that is used to facilitate an assault that is pre-medited.polka, female

What is the point in showing your cleavage if you don't want male attention? I've seen women with their breasts basically hanging out and then get offended when people look at them. So ridiculous.Lisa, female

This campaign has done a fantastic job of provoking debate and therefore awareness of some very big and under discussed issues in our society. The comments (predominantly from males) who say that this campaign is sexist may like to look again at the posters- especially those showing couples. The posters don't label which person is saying or thinking "this is not an invitation to rape me". Any non-consenting sex is rape, these posters show situations where some people might think otherwise but they don't say "the woman in this image might be raped by the man" simply that "rape could happen in this situation". It is interesting that some people have automatically victimised the female character in these images. I think the campaign proves it's importance by being able to question our attitudes towards a horrific crime and also the everyday issues of the "women as object" view many people in this society still hold.Anonymous, female

The most shocking and upsetting (although, given the dominance of men in our society, not surprising) aspect of this issue for me has been the level to which so many women I have spoken have assimilated the excuses men use for their behaviour. As with any problem, early and effective education of both boys and girls, men and women, is imperative if we are to have any success in changing a culture that bows to the primacy of the individual and their wants (please note - wants, not needs).Dan, male

As a person who has been raped twice by a stranger and by a boyfriend, I have been desperate to hear someone else get angry and start to act against the tacit acceptance there is of rape myths in society, the media and the courtroom. When I have told people about the appalling rates of rape conviction, without exception, they are shocked. The question always comes up “why is no-one raising this as an issue? Why are MPs not asking questions about it in the Commons? Why is it not on the front of our newspapers?” We have accepted for too long anti rape campaigns or police statements urging women “not to walk alone at night” and not focussing on changing the attitudes or behaviours of perpetrators. Keep up the excellent work.Anon, female

Here's what I've learned from my rape. A lot of men say all the right things ("It's not your fault." "Nobody deserves to be raped.") But when you come home to a man after you've been raped and beaten, don't expect him to practice what he preached. He thinks you caused the rape. He thinks you could have gotten away. He thinks you didn't say no. He thinks you wanted it and then felt guilty afterwards. Worst of all, he thinks you're going to accuse him of rape (because apparently, you do that to everyone you sleep with). And unfortunately, neither of you will know this until you're in the situation. My husband would have been in the offended/supportive comments--until it happened to me. I fought. I said no. I was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt and a jacket. I had half a drink with a coworker I'd known for years. He told me he could kill me if he wanted to. He told me he knew what I wanted better than I did. He raped me. And he still doesn't think he raped me. And neither does my ex-husband. I don't care how awesome or how highly evolved you are. Either think about it because you see an ad, or think about it when it happens to someone you love. Because trust me, if you care about more than half a dozen women (your mom, sisters, friends, etc.), you're probably going to find out what you really think. Unless she's too scared to tell you because you say things like, "It's a sad fact, but if you leave your wallet on the bar, you know someone's going to take it." Then she'll probably just go through it alone. Nice job.K, female

The point of this site is only 6% of reported rapes result in conviction in England, only 3% in Scotland and part of the reason why is because people (including jury members) blame the victim like they do in no other crime. Before anyone starts saying it's because they're making it up; research has shown that only approx 2% of rape claims are false (no higher than any other crime.) The fact is that one in three women will experience sexual assault or rape in their lifetimes. Before saying a woman is to blame, recognise that among your mother, your sister or your female friends, you will already know women who have been raped but they may not have told you.Salvia, female

I appreciate this effort. Here in the US, it is the state that brings the criminal charge of rape. The victim is considered a witness and the defense is free to do all it can to impugn her testimony. I don't know about worldwide laws but this is patently unfair.Audrey, female

Thank you thank you thank you. I saw Rape Crisis and they helped me come through the most difficult thing I've ever known. I can only echo above comments about talking to them if you are a survivor - they will never ever make you do anything you don't want to - they absolutely will help. Again, thanks for this campaign. I hope one day we won't need it, but right now, as many of the comments here show, we do.Becky, female

Young girls, drunk and wearing skimpy clothes... "This Is Not an Invitation to Rape Me" ... I beg to differPokerStoker, male

Isn't interesting that most of the comments places here by men are negative!?! Like it or not this is the true reality of the world we now live in..the stats say it all!! I have been workig with young women for 10 years and will be using this as a resource next week in our programme. Parents should be doing this with their children as well as presenting clear boundaries for life.TJ FRAME, female

Hey Justin, there is no such thing as an invitation to rape but unfortunately many men and women seem to believe otherwise.Ashley, female

I think this is a great site. I am appaled by the some of the responses! But not surprised, so many people put the blame on the victim. I think this campain is brilliant because it is trying to stop the victim being blamed. RAPE IS THE ONLY CRIME IN WHICH THE VICTIM GETS THE BLAME. No not in any single of this situations is it ok to rape someone. itis never ok. and the sooner people realise this the better. I know it is not going to stop the rapists but at least it may ease the victims guilt. I have seen some a comment here that rape is more common if the woman is wearing perocative clothing. I don't think this is true, stranger rape maybe but I don't think so, as you may know that is only 8% of rapes. I was raped wearing my school uniform, I was raped wearing karate suit, I was raped wearing a hoody and a tracksuit pants (yes all by the same person) but yet when I was wearing an extreamly short mini skirt and a revealing top I wasn't So do I think that you have to be wearing something sexy to be raped NO. A woman should be aload wear anything she wants, and not have to fear that she will be raped, its a disgrace. Although I do believe this campain should not just focus on the rape of woman by men! what about the rape of men by woman? or woman by woman? Its also a common myth that these can't happen! well anyway I think thats enough of my rant!Cathy, female

Fantastic Site, - Guys should understand when the word No is used it means NO, regardless of what they have just been upto, how they percieve a situation, how a woman is dressed or even if they are married to someone, NO means NO - it's not a difficult word to understand is it?.Andy, male

- Rape is defined as unwanted sex. Legally, the word 'no' also means 'stop', and if you can't say 'no' because you're drunk or unconscious, it still doesn't mean 'yes' - if that were the case, date rape would technically be legal, and we all know that All Rape is Wrong. As for "No means no at all times and you are within your rights to say no before, during or after sex with anyone from the opposite or same sex." - this is innacurately worded, so let me explain the "after" bit, the way I understand it. The majority of rapes are commited by a person known to the victim, and many by a current or previous partner. What is meant by 'saying no after sex' is that by having sex Once, you Don't automatically agree to have sex Every Time the other person wants to. Is that clear?Citlalli, female

It's depressing reading all these comments about the woman's 'responsibility' to 'protect herself' from rape. So far most education on sexual assault / rape has centered around self defense and how to protect yourself. This paticular campaign focuses on the RAPIST, or the potential rapist. That's why it's so great (: (By the way, over 90% of rapes are against women, and 99% of rapes are commited by men. Surprise? Without devaluing the experiences of male-by-female rape victims, considering female rape is by far the most common type it only makes sense to focus on it.) @ Jesse: No, I'm pretty sure it means that if you were unable to consent at the time you can still consider it rape and report it as such after it has happened. I do think that the campaign needs to focus more on other causes of rape such as power issues, male domination issues etc. which are the more common causes of rape / sexual violence.Katy, female

I think this is an important campaign for men and women. It's shocking how many people still think that a drunk woman 'deserved' to get raped, and those attitudes come from men and from women. It's important as well that women realise they always, always have the right to say no, no matter what. I had sex with a man once, when I didn't want to, because I felt that I'd led him on. He didn't rape me, because I never told him I didn't want to do it, but it made me feel awful. I knew I could have said no, but I felt like I couldn't after I'd left the club with him. If campaigns like this can stop women from having that same experience, it can only be a good thing.Hannah, female

You make it seem as if all men think about when they see a woman is raping her...You, obviously, need to reevaluate your opinions. Alot of the time, yes, it is the guy that's to blame in the situation, but, as much is it may pain you to hear, sometimes women DO dress scantily to bother men. I'm not just saying that to say it, I was raised by my mother and her friends and I have many female friends(Which, according to you, I want nothing more than to rape) who have told me that they do this. So be sure to check your facts before you lump all men into one easily-defined demographic...Kinser, male

I don't believe that men can't control themselves when they become aroused. And if that is the case, they need to go and get help. My *dog* can start going at it in the street with another dog, but he stops if we order him to get away from her. If a dog can do it, a human being ought to be able to.Smudge, female

I thought I'd point out that many women posting here will be rape victims and so will have come here because they've heard about this site through a survivor network. Men visiting this site either will have heard from the same route because of friends / partners or being attacked themselves. The other men on here who have posted abusive, shocking comments, either remembered the website from the ads (unlikely) or searched online for "rape". I'd be a bit cautious webmaster on keeping some of the comments on here. I was raped by a stranger and by an ex boyfriend. I reported the stranger but there was no point reporting the ex because I knew it would only be my word against his. I wonder if all of the people saying women should not dress skimpily would think it was ok if on a hot day when loads of men walk around without tops on if they were raped? The fact is, very few rapes happen by strangers and when they do they are normally maticulously planned. I was stalked. I could have been wearing a pantomime horse costume the day he chose to rape me, it wouldn't have stopped him. This is an epidemic of truely shocking proportions. I agree, not all men are rapists, I am married to one who certainly isn't but not all juries are fair either. If the conviction rate in the UK for murder was 5.6%, there would be questions in parliament.Parvana, female

Firstly I believe the campaign to be a very positive step towards raising awareness. However it seems a little dated in suggesting that only woman are rape victims. Men can also be raped and just because it is not reported to the same degree female rape is does not mean it doesnt exist. Where is the support for male rape victims? Whilst it is great to see steps towards cracking down on rape crimes towards woman, the campaign still lacks capacity and openness to raise awareness of male rape. Perhaps another campaign should be established for males???Graeme, male

I'm somehow unsurprised that most of the negative comments on this page are for men - the majority of whom will never have to deal with innocuous decisions such as what kind of underwear to put on or who to dance with on a night out being turned against them after something as devestating as rape or sexual assualt. Additionally, if the message behind these posters were as 'common sense' as we all wish they were, then I doubt the numbers of women raped by friends, familly members, acquaintances and romantic/sexual partners would be so horrifically high.Suz, female

Well, it's like what that person said, if you flash hundreds of pounds about and parade that you have it it IS likely to get stolen. So if you are some 14 year old girl wearing a neon pink tutu, pink hold ups, a thong and a bra at 4am and your walking down a dark street alone and pissed out your head you ARE more LIKELY to get raped. I don't agree with rape of course, and I do think attitudes need to change, but you should be sensible and not think that just because it's "you" you'll be ok. Don't be stupid. Of course no one can predict the future but at least try and protect yourself a bit!Sarah, female

If you dress like a tart and are so drunk you can barely walk you are more likely to be raped. Fact. I never said it was ok by the way.Nottellingyoumyname, female

*bangs head off table* Why, why, WHY don't they get this?? The ads aren't aimed at those who would not rape, they are aimed at those who would discount a woman's protests based on the fact of her appearance/behaviour/level of intoxication. If this doesn't apply to you, brilliant! You're a wonderful, shining example of how an individual should behave! But what about the person who comes along five minutes after you? What if they WOULD??? Can you account for them? Can you look into their face and say "Oh, no, this person would never do something like that!" Think, for God's sake! And remember, next time you go getting your panties in a twist over this "insult", IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!!!!!!!Jez, female

Justin, way to miss the point. The whole reason behind the ad campaign is to show that women who dress "shockingly" (in your opinion) are seen by much of society as asking to be raped - even though she's just wearing what might be comfortable to her or simply feels good to her.Judith R., female

Wow.. I have just started to read the comments and am disgusted with the so-called 'men' who have left comments, bar apart one guy. All the men seem to think this is funny, and are joking about it or even condoning rape, then laughing about it. The cries of "sexist", although they have a slither of truth just undermine the whole campaign. I fully acknowledge that men have been sexually attacked and abused by women and it should be in no way insignificant compared to sexual attacks on women. It must be horrific. But lets face facts, that it is women who suffer the most from such terrible crimes and women who must be 'careful' to avoid it. The disgusting comments about women having to stop being attacked by taking precautions, etc - why are you blaming the victim? It is the RAPIST and the attacker who should be blamed. I feel absolutely appalled at the state of these, and I repeat, SO CALLED men who have left such shocking, horrid comments about women. I always knew being female disadvantaged me, but the attitude modern men have (according to the comments here, though I remain hopeful and optimistic for the men in the real world) show feminism has such a long, hard fight ahead for true equality. No wonder rape is so badly reported and convicted. It is a disgrace to our so called liberal, modern country. Women have to live by such terrible double standards, and be spoken about and treated like men on here... I really don't know what to say. Apart from I hope you are never subject to any kind of sexual attack or rape, and your Mothers, sisters, daughters, Aunties aren't either. :(Alex, female

yea, ok, but showing a lot of skin is an invitation to lookJack, male

Good job on the site, I have been working for a rape crisis centre and they talked about this campaign, I don't see anythng sexist or wrong about it at all. The only thing is that I do think more awareness of the issue needs to be raised when it comes to sexual crimes against men. But even rapes against women barely get convicted and the conviction rate for same-sex sexual assault (for either gender) must be even lower so we still have a long way to go. I am very disappointed at most of the comments on the site. It is depressing that some people still hold these attitudes!rach, female

This campaign is 100% correct in what it says. There is never an excuse for non consensual sex. That said, I can't see the campaign changing a thing. Rather than worrying about the conviction rate a campaign to try to protect women by informing them of how they can minimise the risk of rape (don't wear provocative clothes, make sure you know someone before you live with them) is (I believe) the most effective approach. That may not be fair but it is pragmatic. Sadly, this issue won't go away just because the campaign chastises those very few men who are prepared to commit such a terrible crime.Mike, male

Militant-feminist crap. The tone and language used in this website demonise men; rape is irreconcilible with any decent moral code but this ultra-feminist claptrap is offensive in nature and doesn't actually get to the root of the problem, it only finger-points. By the way, recent statistics show that most drink-spike related rapings are male-on-male. Research the facts before going all-out as this website does.Anon., male

As a child I was molested, and as a teen I was pressured/coerced. In college, I was stalked by a stranger once and by a friend's husband another time. As a teen, I was physically abused by a boyfriend. As a coping mechanism, at some point in my life, I began to fear being attractive. I am free from that now, however, it is something that took lots of prayer and therapy to get over. I am so glad to see what you are doing to help women and girls. Keep up the great work!Donna, female

Those men here crying "U R demonizing ALL MEN!!!", defensive much?? If you're really against rape, male or female, you would not feel threatened by this campaign because the message it carries is nothing new to you. There is no way to interpret this message as "all men are rapists", that's all in your head. Please grow up.Ninny, female

No means NO!One who knows...., female

I think it's appaling that just because, a woman may be under the influance of alcohol does not mean that it wouldn't be classed as rape if she was in that situation! It makes me sick thinking that people can get away with doing something like this!Charlotte, female

RAPE IS WRONG every right thinking person of whatever gender believes this unalterable fact.the problems occurs when worthy sites such as this one allow itself to be hijacked by people who are only intent on pushing their point of view.i cannot even begin to imagine the physical and emotional trauma that the rape VICTOMS have gone through but until the attitudes of both male and females are united against rape there will be more.you will observe that i place the blame evenly on those people who hold views that only distract from what i believe is the aim of this site. my point of view is simple RAPE IS A CRIME CARRIED OUT BY PERVERTS ON PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT CONSENTED TO SEX. there are no circumstances that will change thisg, male

What a great campaign! I'm a volunteer rape crisis counselor in the US, and even victims internalize the horrible 'blaming' mentality. Men should not feel defensive- the vast majority of men are not rapists. A small percentage of all men are predatory rapists, and if GOOD men help women protect themselves by changing cultural attitudes about rape, men and women can more freely co-exist as human beings. Good luck and good work!Kate, female

The comments from many of the men above are why I've stopped dating men. You guys go ahead and call it "surprise sex" all you want, but when you surprise me, be expected to have your ass hauled to court on rape charges, you fucking rapist.Giana, female

What most of the men above fail to understand is it doesn't matter what a woman wears, where is is or at what point in the sexual activity she decides she doesn't want to go any further - once a woman says "NO!" or "STOP!" or "LEAVE ME ALONE!" and you keep going and penetrate any part of her body, then dude, you are raping her. The campaign is an excellent idea and challenges stereotypes that allow men to blame women for their selfish and aggressive refusal to leave women alone when a woman demands or requests it. No woman can "lead a man on" because he decides how far he is going to go and what he is going to do after she says "NO!" or "STOP" or "LEAVE ME ALONE!" Instead of women exercising caution about where they go and when and how they are dressed, how about men just keep their hands and other body parts to themselves and leave women and children alone?Deborrah Cooper, female

And just what gives women the right to dress like whores? I don't care how superficial it is, we judge people by the way they dress. We assume a cop is a cop because of his uniform; we don't ask to see his badge, etc... every time.Pro-modesty woman, female

Brilliant campaign - go worldwide. Then get the message out there - that rapists are sick and need treatment. However so does our culture - sexual honesty and open communication on sexual issues from puberty on would, I feel greatly reduce the ignorance, craving - and frustration that are a factor towards creating the conditions for rape to happen. There is nothing shameful, sinful or dirty about sex - it is like food, something we need. Who has been spreading these ideas about sex? Discuss!Rupadarshin (Buddhist), male

Thank you for putting this out there. It helps after hearing so many people say "You kind of put yourself in that situation." Glad to see people bring and intelligent perspective here. I shouldn't have to shut myself up because some rapist can't control himself.Amanda, female

As a male I can see why many men aggressively defend accused rapists and may leave negative comments on sites as this. The psyche of forced intercourse occurs naturally through out the animal kingdom and sadly so too in human beings. It is in the ability of a man to resits these urges and live in a civilised society with rules that separates him from the beasts.Annon, male

I thought rape was about power and control. What's having a nice figure and dressing sexily got too do with it. Now is it about power and control or sex? I'm confused.James, male

Rape in any shape or form is an affront to human dignity.Phil, male

Is a predator that has means of opportuinity more likly too attack a woman dressed "sexily" with a "nice figure" as she puts it, as he is too attack a woman not displaying a"nice figure" or dressed "sexily".You seem too be advocating that rape will be more likely too occur based on how a woman is dressed. If rape is not about sex, why is the manner in which she is dressed important at all.JJ, male

I was 14 and wearing my school uniform when I was raped. I am very sorry if my clothing was far to provocative. I'm now too SCARED to go out and get drunk, wear revealing clothing or get anywhere near men. That is the kind of damage that rape really does. I'm VERY sorry if all you patriachal critics feel that I did not sufficiently protect myself from being raped. The man was never prosecuted. Other people since then have found out and said it must have been MY fault because "things like that don't happen unless you ask for it". THAT is the kind of opinion this campaign challenges. If this could have stopped those people telling me it was my fault, that I was a filthy whore. It would probably have kept me from trying to take my own life 2 years later.T, female

I'm apaulled at some of the comments left on here! This campaign isn't about portaying ALL men as potential rapists, it's about raising awareness and trying to remove the stigma and ignorance surrounding rape and sexual crimes. NO-ONE but no-one deserves or asks for rape, regardless of gender, race, age, clothing, level of intoxication, intimacy of relationship. Rape and sexual crimes destroy lives. To some of the males who have commented...how would you feel if it was your sister, daughter, partner? Would you blame them? Would you look at them, curled in a heap, trembling, agrophobic, numb, terrified to be touched, unable to sleep due to flash-backs, self-harming and trying to take her life and say she deserved it? I think not! As the victim and survivor of a sexual assault earlier this year, I can say that it has destroyed the past 7mths of my life. I blamed myself for walking home alone, somehting I've done hundreds of times...does that mean I deserved it? I shouldn't have had a few drinks with friends. Did I deserve it? I shouldn't have been wearing that long hippy skirt & hoodie...not revealling in the slightest! Did I deserve it? Did I deserve to feel humiliated; ashamed; guilty; that I was to blame somehow? NO! My weak and cowardice assailant came up behind me, I was unable to give any visual description or get him prosecuted. Not knowing my attacker scared me when I went out anywhere, every man was a potential attacker...was I standing next to him in a shop, on a bus etc? It became so bad I spiralled into depression, I self harmed and tried to take my own life. Does ANYONE deserve to go through this? Many victims don't come forward because of the narrow-mindedness and stereotypes inflicted upon them by society's ignorance. The ONLY person to blame in any sexual crime is the one committing it. This campaign is here to help change the stigma's and misconceptions regarding all sexual crimes and it should be regarded as a positive step.Lemur, female

This is a wonderful campaign. Thank you so much.Elly, female

i am a trans woman and a huge fan of your work just wish we had something like it state side. plus it should be known that somewhere around 50-60% of trans woman are the victim of a sexual crime. i am so for raising awareness that it isn't the victims fault and that the court systems around the world need to do a better job of protecting womans rights with our own bodies.sophia, female

A shocking and upsetting site, but totally needed considering the attitudes towards women and rape. All too often in my line of work I see women who have had to confront the effects of these myths in court. Keep going with the good work.Ken, male

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Your comments on Intimacy

I am really pleased that this aspect has been highlighted. I've heard far too many real life incidents like these. Most of the time the victim and the victims friends also believe it's her fault. People need to be aware of their rights in all situations.Karen, female

A very powerful campaign! I hope it makes people stop and think.Russell, male

Good on you for telling it like it is. There are still too many people who believe the stupid myths. I hope this can help change some people's minds about rape.Farrah, female

The hardest thing to convince a rape survivor of is that it was not and never was her fault. I know. It took me 14 years to be able to believe this for myself.V, female

A powerful message, put across very clearly. I hope we all learn something from it.Tim, male

This is one of the most difficult things to deal with in rape. Being raped by someone you know. I was raped by an ex-partner and was completely baffled as to what happened and why. I also felt ashamed because I thought I had led him on (even though since when has a conversation meant that?). It's time we realised what rape it- it is not just having sex with someone. There are lots of comments from men about women lying about rape or blokes 'getting it wrong'. If it happened to you you would know about it. If she doesn't say yes..don't force her. Rapists are sick and a different breed.Anon, female

 "Myth: a woman consenting to any level of sexual activity is to blame for "giving mixed signals"". This is not a myth...it's very true. People can be very misleading, wires can get crossed, signals can be mis-interpreted. While a woman in this situation cannot be held responsible for being raped, she can be held responsible for not making her intentions clearer. In these situations, women must accept a degreee of accountiblity too.Anon, male

When I go out in public without a bra and my nipples protruding I expect to be stared at, and I recognize some of my clothes are designed to make men imagine sex with me. I often see some of my sisters after a few drinks rubbing against men,making "fuck me" eyes etc.They are abusing their sexual power, taunting, teasing, provoking..If I behaved this way I wouldn't be surprised if one of them resented it and got physical. In an intimate situation if I'm stroking a man through his pants like in the photo and then I stop with no consideration for how I would be frustrating him, I wouldn't be surprised if he got angry. Your lessons betray a lack of understanding of the difference between male and female sexuality and an inability to empathize with a sexual male.Charlene, female

A woman has a responsibility to use her common sense. Therefore if a woman doesn't want to have sex with a man, she should not go too far with him. A dance or a kiss is not an invitation to sex. But if she goes home with him, snogs with him, lets him take her knickers off, and then suddenly changes her mind, I think she is guilty of considerable contributory negligence. As for saying that she has the right to say no even during intercourse, good God, do you think men are made of ice or something? Do you think they can just switch it off at will?Louise, female

agreeing with anonymous down the bottom to be honest, quite a strong campaign, hope you do well and get the message across, I'll be blogging about it soon hopefully, danny-connor.blogspot.com anything I post I'll link back to this site as well, bit of sponsorship either way.Dan, male

Yes, if a woman wants a man to stop, for example she is in pain, he should be able to stop. Men are humans, not animals. Why can't we go home with a man and not have sex? If he is unsure, is it so hard to say, "Do you want to?" Good luck with the campaign. Glad to see something being done.Lyndsay, female

Louise, the only men who would be "made out of ice" are the ones who would just continue to have his way despite her changing her mind. You're setting up a virgin-whore dichotomy, with either the woman accepting no intimacy or going all the way. People are more complicated than that. I can think of a number of reasons why a woman can change her mind mid-intercourse, like it hurting. Men are NOT mindless f**k machines. If a guy can imediately stop intercourse when his gf's dad walks in (I highly doubt the bloke would keep going), then men can stop when their partner says "no".Charlotte, female

 I would never get "hot" in the back of a taxi, it certainly shows a vunerable teenager/woman - "wait until your home!"AS, 19, female

An outward show of emotion or affection does not imply any consent for sex.HW, male

I got in an argument with a friend about this yesterday - it made me so mad! I don't understand how people can believe it's the woman's responsibility to not "get in a situation where she'll get raped." So stupid... Katie, female

 I 100% agree with louise. You can't be about to or be half way through sex with a man and then just change your mind. Men are not toys. I also don't like how in these popups over the pictures portray the girls view as always right and the mans view as always wrong. These images seem to me to be saying "girls, do whatever you want with men because your word is law when it comes to sex". If a woman does not want to have sex she should not give the man the impression that she does. Don't get me wrong, I do not agree with rape of any kind. However I do feel that there is a point where a woman must accept some blame for leading a guy on to an unacceptable degree.CM, male

  its fantastic news to have this website and other types of media doing it. i hope it does change the sterotyped views of rape which have been seen in the negative way for so many decades. ive been in an abuse relationship previously, he also thought since i was his gf that he had every right to my body therfore didnt need to ask for it even when i said no or was asleep etc ans when i protested hed physicaly hurt my to get what he wanted even when he didnt want sex he still hurt me cause he could. please change this attitude as it effects us women more than men and they dont understand no matter how long it went on for and how long it stoped it wil be a lasting scar on us mentaly and physicaly both haunting stopping us moving forward with ease. its a struggle to think posstive about yourself and others and to get through each day without feeling down when bad memories slring to your mind. it has to stop and this blame on women is wrong the blame lie with the men who think this is acceptable when truth is its not.annie, female

Taken from 'The Impact' tab: "take their clothes off and roll around if they choose to." Come to America, if you ever see a woman doing this, Go in the opposite direction before she plays the rape card, otherwise, enjoy trying to prove yourself innocent!R, male

 Thank you so much for making this site! Sadly, attitudes like this are still occasionally seen (here in the United States, too) and I'm glad that someone is trying to educate people about and debunk the myths surrounding rape. The site itself is also well-made and visually appealing.Becky, female

 i totally agree with this campaign but the "intimacy" picture is a little bit off in my opinion, i mean she has unbuckeld his belt which is a pretty strong suggestion that something will happen, no? im not saying that she has signed a contaract or anything but the ad could have been a little subtlergary, male

i was reading the comment by louise "A woman has a responsibility to use her common sense. Therefore if a woman doesn't want to have sex with a man, she should not go too far with him. A dance or a kiss is not an invitation to sex. But if she goes home with him, snogs with him, lets him take her knickers off, and then suddenly changes her mind, I think she is guilty of considerable contributory negligence. As for saying that she has the right to say no even during intercourse, good God, do you think men are made of ice or something? Do you think they can just switch it off at will? Louise, female" and agree with her 100% she is the smartest women to have commented. if u put urself in a vulneruble position som preditor wil take some advantage respect louisebob , male

 Some people say this campaign is sexist towards men. I think some of these comments are sexist towards men. Men are indeed perfectly capable of stopping at any time when a woman says "No." Some of the above comments suggest that women just lure men into bed so they can mess with them by telling them to stop in the middle. Do these people have any idea how ludicrous that sounds? This is an extremely important issue when it comes to rape. Thank you for pointing it out.Rachael, female

I think this website would be far more effective in rape prevention if people read it than any campaign. http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/bonding_process.htmlJackie, female

 How stupid do people think men are by believing that when a woman says "no" during physical intimacy, he's getting "mixed signals"? I, for one, believe men are smarter than that and know that no means no, no matter what the circumstance.Hazel, female

 @ CM: If the woman isn't comfortable and says stop, its rape if you continue. If she does it to annoy you, she's not very nice, but its still rape if you continue. One small wrong and one sick violation of human decency don't make a right. "unacceptable degree" makes it sound like you think you're quite justified to have your way and she really should have considered that from the start. @ Louise: Nudity between two people does not imply sex. Foreplay does not even imply sex. Theres a whole spectrum of intimacy between friendship and sex. And of course he can (should be able to) just "switch it off"; its called respect – men are not machines that must continue once started. Incidently I think this all rather highlights that couples should talk to each other more, instead of worrying about being judged.G, male

Louise said that men can't switch off at will. That might be true (moreso for some men than others - I'm surprised all men don't find it insulting that they're sometimes viewed and/or portrayed as complete animals with no self-control, and strive to change that image rather than conform to it) - but that doesn't mean that sex has to carry on. If she doesn't want it, it'd be extremely insensitive of him to force it on her just so he can get his satisfaction (which, by the way, can be achieved through other means). The comparitavely tiny gain he gets is nothing compared to the huge losses she incurrs. (Not sure if that makes sense or not...)Trin, female

I have some news for Louise - it doesn't take an iceman to control himself. Of course men can stop during sex. They will likely be left with an erection, but you don't switch off your free will when you're having sex - if a woman says no, you stop - simple as that. Any man claiming that he can't stop after he reaches a certain point should be locked up - he's basically saying that he's not responsible for his actions, which is more or less admitting to being a danger to those around him. The same type of people justify violence against other people because their blood was up.Gareth Simpson, male

What ever happened to personal responsibility? This a totally different situation from the others portrayed in the campaign. If a woman leads a man on up until the very second before penetration, and then withdraws her consent, and the man continues to have sex with her, surely she in partly responsible? If i decide i want to injure myself by lieing down on the middle of the road and letting a car run over the top of me, but then i decide i actually dont want to hurt myself and i stand up at the very moment a car comes around the corner at 30mph knocking me 10 feet in the air. Is it my fault or the drivers fault that i end up a big gooey mess on the road? Women need to take responsibility for their actions, as well as men.Dave, male

That one woman's comment is HORRIBLE; she basically said men have no control over themselves. Her ignorance sickens me.Natty Dread, female

As a rape victim who kissed the rapist before the attack I would just like to highlight the trauma of this form of rape. It does not make it any less terrifying, and there is no such thing as a "nice rape". Whatever reason a woman (or man) has for choosing not to have sex or stop sex it must be listened to or the consequences could be devastating.Lauren, female

Well done for bringing this discussion to public attention. I was "date raped" after a bit of kissing and cuddling, no nudity involved. It took me five years of marriage before I finally plucked up the courage to tell my husband about it, ten years after the rape occurred. I had always blamed myself, thought that if i hadn't been so naiive, too trusting it would never have happened. It took my husband's reaction - of course it was not my fault, I never consented, did not lead him on - to finally realise that naiivety on my part was no excuse on his part. One caveat though - I do think it is equally important to educate our daughters and young women to be more cautious, and to look out for themselves and each other.Had I been more cautious, I could have avoided a situation that gave that man the opportunity to do what he did to me. I am sure that 15 years on, he has pretty much forgotten that it ever happened. I live with it every time my wonderful husband looks at me with desire. I do not deserve that, neither does my husband. If simple caution could prevent it from happening to just one person - it would be worth it.S, female

The frustrating point about rape and sexual assault is that it makes you question yourself rather than the attacker question himself. We need men to become more introspective and empathetic with respect to this issue. Unfortunately I think that the anti-rape cause is not a priority for many men.S, female

OK, men aren't made of ice; but hearing reluctance to have sex or feeling a discomfort in a woman should trigger an immediate stop sign. It takes one big pulsion to rape, but it takes two strong feelings to make love and savour it...Jacques, male

Why is there no forum to discuss these issues? Without a proper forum, this site is wrong. You can not just make such sweeping statements and not have them challenged. Some people may agree with the POV put forward by this site, but a lot of people wont. There should be a platform for proper debate, if they are going to voice views which are as contentious and radical as the ones put forward by this campaign.Anon, male

To the writer, Louise, below who wants to believe that there is a point beyond which men lose control: Doesn't that degrade them? People change their minds about continuing sex all the time, and they should have that inalienable right. Nice to see the support of offender excuses alive and well!Louise, female

Hey Louise, I'm curious as to whether you're okay with exercising the right to change your mind? Have you ever said yes to someone then decided later you don't want to do whatever you agreed to? If you get in a car with a full tank of gas does that mean you're required to drive until the tank is empty?Anonymous, female

OMG I can not beleive what louise said. I nearly got sick reading it. NO they do not have the right to rape you even if your knickers are off. And yes you can say stop at anytime! I am a victim of sexual abuse, so sometimes during sex I need to stop because it is too much.. and my boyfriend totally understands that.. and he does stop! no they are not made of ice but its not that hard to pull out! Jesus! I'd like to slap some people.Cathy, female

Good website. It is appalling that the way that women dress can be blamed for their own sexual assault; so many of these pages just say essentially the same thing - 'men have a right to sex if they want it'. Why has nobody stopped to think of why men can walk around with their sweaty beer guts hanging out with no fear of the consequences? It is truly disgusting.Mog, female

Imagine someone with lots of cash hanging out of all their pockets, taunting poor people and then falling down drunk. If they get robbed, it is an illegal act - but, they ARE partly responsible.The Thirty Percent, male

Very nice site!Pharmb981, male

I know that this is a big issue, because I myself have seen some guys start out sweet and gentle, then change. They think, "she's given in, she want's me, I can have her now" they start to assume that a girl is just playing hard to get, or they believe she owes it to him..... they need a reminder that women are not their property.Cher(notthesinger), female

Thank gods for this website, the number of time morons have said that I wasn't really raped because I'd enthusiastically consented to making out or because I was their girlfriend is just fucking ridiculous.aileenwuornos, female

Wow some of the ignorance displayed here is astounding. Men NEVER lose control of their mind. They can ALWAYS stop. It is incredibly sexist to imply or state otherwise. Also many of the comments here reveal in themselves the victim blaming of society. Perhaps a lady or man is a little foolish , but that doesn't ever justify rape on the part of another.Susan, female

Not to play down the severity of rape, but this campaign seems a little over the top. I feel by having a penis I've somehow committed a crime!Steve, male

My GOD this whole website is COMPLETELY retarded. The whole issue is just plain ridiculous. If you're on top of a guy coming on to HIM and you don't want sex? Move back in with mommy and have her teach you how to function properly in this world. With people like that, I feel that they are 100% accountable for whatever happens. The only one responsible for your own actions is YOU.These NUTS!, male

Have your say

Your comments on Drinking

If a woman and a man meet in a bar, both very drunk, neither is capable of making a rational decision, and both wake up in bed together, having had sex. Why is the man charged with rape? If she decifes de facto that she didn't want to have sex then the law holds him accountable regardless of whether she consented at the time. (In addition no jury would ever convict her of rape if he charges her)A Devil's Advocate, male

Challenging the myth that women are responsible if a man rapes them after they have been drinking is excellent. However, as always we have rape apologists attempting to derail this campaign. No woman ever charges a man with rape lightly. Consider the consequences for the woman when she reports a known man has raped her. Cases wherein both rapist and victim are drunk are rare. Research has consistently shown rapists deliberately ply a woman with alcohol in order to reduce her level of resistance. Pseudo claims that if a woman and man have penetrative sex after both have been drinking and the man allegedly is charged with rape are in fact myths. Fact is rapists are opportunists they deliberately seek out women they perceive as 'easy to conquer.' Rape is both about male sexual access and male power over women.BREEZE, female

Devils Advocate, you seem to be intimitating that false allegations of rape are made on a regular basis when in fact, according to police statistics, they sit at around 3% - the same as for any other crime. The notion that women 'cry rape' frequently is yet another rape myth to engender women blaming. Given that the vast majority of women don't even report what has happened to them - because they fear they won't be believed or will be made to feel it is their fault or because they will have to endure further trauma by the legal process - and the fact that the conviction rate for rape in this country stands at 2.9% I think you need not lose any sleep about your fictional man. Why not play devils advocate with your friends or workmates instead who, like you, probably do buy into or believe many of the myths that place responsibility for rape on women. You could challenge their attitudes, maybe starting with the question, 'shouldn't men who rape take responsibility for their actions?'. Admittedly this would be more difficult and challenging for you than posting anonymously on the internet and propagating the prevalant myths that this campaign seeks to undermine, but it would be more in the spirit of being a true devils advocate and you might actually begin to understand the level of difficulty women face on this issue.Reality, female

You say that women don't lightly charge a man with rape yet there are increasing cases where men are falsely charged with this offence due to the "embarassment" of the women when caught in the act or even that she has deemed it a poor choice. This I feel is disgusting and the fact the man is publically abused during his trial while the women gets to keep her identity secret even once the man has been cleared. I believe these women themselves should be jailed for their actions.Johnny, male

Firstly there is no excuse for rape - no means no. But i cant help but feel 'Devils Advocates' point is being missed. Reality and Breeze you obviously have very strong views on this and rightfully so. However as a man in his early 20's who likes to drink i have gotten myself into a situation where i indeed dd wake up in bed with a girl after a night out with no real memory. My first reaction was worry about how this (equally drunk girl) was going to react. In the end there was no issue and everything was fine. Im not saying that being too drunk to say no is an excuse but i think Devils A has brought up a good point for discussion.Max, male

 Just be careful your not inciting that if a girl gets drunk and pulls a guy, then regrets it the next morning she doesnt scream "rape". cause thats not fair.Mike, male

 I do not have sex with women who are black out drunk. I realize that sex has become completely worthless in our society, but maybe men are the ones "asking for it" when we sleep with a woman who can hardly even stand and who is not going to remember what happened the night before.Ray, male

 I think Devil's Advovocate does have a fair point. Arguably the law of rape has no place in situations where both parties are genuinely as drunk as each other, there has been no coercion, and both wake up in the morning with only a vague recollection of what has happened. Let's be honest tho - a charge of rape would never be brought in these circumstances. Where the law must intervene is in situations where men are deliberately going to bars and clubs looking for very drunk women to target. We need to change how this is viewed - its not 'taking advantage'. It's rape.Jemima, female

Johnny, can you give me a source for this assertion that there are increasing false reports of rape due to women being embarassed? I think it's interesting that so many people refuse to accept the many pieces of research and studies that show women are unlikely to make false allegations of rape, yet confidently repeat myths that have been around for years. If women's groups talk about anecdotal evidence from survivors of rape they are asked to come up with hard facts yet these ridiculous myths continue to be believed in the face of those hard facts which ridicule them. Wake up, for God's sake!Laura, female

There have been two cases recently (in the past year) that have involved men being wrongly accused then detained in prison whilst their fingerprints, DNA and other personal details were taken. One of them had a wife, who due to the media releasing his details, left him. Of course, they were both (eventually) cleared, but not before suffering abuse from vigilantes, mutterings from old ladies and evil glances from pretty much everyone in public. Having said that, the female accuser was jailed for a few months - but the male victim had to move out because the community had already decided - that he was a rapist because he was tarnished with the accusation of being one.Ryan, male

This country has too much of an "alcohol culture". Whatever trouble you get yourself in while intoxicated, be you male or female and whether you get raped, mugged or run over as you stagger across the street you need to accept responsibility and realise that this would probably not have happened had you not been out of your face.sober, female

If a woman can be considered too drunk to consent to sex, doesn't that mean a rapist can be considered too drunk to consent to rape?Anon, male

Well, if a man is 'plying a woman with alcahol' should she not have the wit to notice that he is doing this? Are women completely brainless? Do women have NO responsibility for their own behaviour At All?Louise, female

In a new world that profits on the fear of individuals, this is not only exploitative to young females but also abusive to the average man. Remind yourself that you all have fathers and often thoroughly decent men in your family; do you remind them not to rape? An absolutely disgraceful campaign; shame on you all.John smith, male

Wow, TWO whole cases. Um, grasping at straws much? Fact: rape is predominantly committed by MEN. The old "oh, but TONS of women falsely accuse men of rape" is OLD, TIRED, CLICHE. PLEASE educate yourselves; you really need it.Doctress Julia, female

Louise, have you not heard of anything called a date rape drug or spiking? People can be tricked about how much alcohol is in their drink. Heck, people were able to get drunk just by thinking that some root beer was spiked, tasting alcohol when there was none. Further, until I see evidence of this same level of victim-blaming for other crimes, I'm interpreting your post as classic "it's always the woman's fault" tripe.Charlotte, female

In Australia, our anti-rape ads tell us that drinking as a female leaves you wide open to rape. A campaign like this is so refreshing to see.Annie, female

Some of the people above make me very sad, and are part of the reason I never reported my rape to the police... far more often than females falsely accusing males, are women who don't speak out about what happened to them, often due to feelings of self-doubt, fear of facing their rapist again, fear of being judged, or a real recognition that the legal system is not set up to protect victims. Yes we all have a responsibility to watch our alcohol and drug consumption, but how many Scots can honestly say they haven't had 1 or 10 too many on the odd occasion. But no-one has the right to take advantage of you just because you are wasted - if anything I would like to think that people would want to put you in a taxi home, not try to have sex with you. I'm gay - and before you say it, I don't hate men at all, but I have no interest in men sexually. Yet the man who raped me still thought I wanted it because I was out of my face and unable to push him away or to say no. Since then I have had nightmares, flashbacks, I have moved house, changed the way I look felt depressed and suicidal, and even self-harmed all as a result of what happened to me that night. I am not some deranged person.... I was just f****d over by someone, and one night, when I thought I was going to a party with people I could trust, I realised to my peril that unfortunately, a person being so wasted that they can't stand up or talk somehow seems like a turn on to some people. So you above can judge this campaign, and judge women for getting drunk or wasted, but I hazard a guess you are speaking as people who have never been raped yourself. I wish this campaign had been around when I was first raped... it would have allowed my healing process to begin much quicker. And again, I don't hate men, and I don't think that all men are rapists... but the one I met on Boxing night 2 years ago was.G, female

@ Doctress Julia, female So they don't matter, I presume? 2 cases in the past year alone (in headline media, I'm sure false allegations are made every weekend) is 2 ruined lives, reputation destroyed and life threatened for something you didn't do. Ever know that feeling? Nope, because the ball is in your park. The truth is that ANY woman in the close vicinity of ANY man can accuse of abuse and harassment - that is more than enough to endanger lives.Ryan, male

If a female gets herself drunk and the has sexual intercourse, the following morning wakes up and thinks she must have been raped because she wouldn't normally have had sex, this puts the innocent male in trouble and does not do any good for actual rape incidents.M, male

I believe women or young teenagers who drink excessively are putting themselves in a vunerable position for rape, I would still drink on a night out but within moderation.AS, 19, female

This one is getting more common-people need to be able to hold their drink. I don't drink and one reason i don't is because of the state i see some people in, and the things these people do! I have seen so many girls getting drunk and almost taken advantage of or even guys taken advantage ofTom, male

Rape is too much of a token word that feminists throw around to make themselves feel better about how slutty they are. When a man and a woman have sex, both are responsible, yet for some reason you want the man to have to take responsibility for the whole interaction in case the woman is slightly intoxicated. My male friend was raped by a girl when he was drunk, yet nobody took him seriously when he told people about it. I think its time for you to drop your double standards and look at the bigger picture.gary, male

 I was out one night and ended up very very drunk. A guy I know offered to drive me home - needless to say I don't remember much, but the next morning I was very sore in my genital area. I realised we had had intercourse I felt totally sick. Had I not been so drunk this would definately not have happened. In response to one of the comments posted (M, male) I think the male has to take some responsibility especially in the case I am describing as the male was sober (hence driving his car) and without a doubt knew how extremely drunk I was and therefore must have known my judgement was impaired, yet still took advantage of the situation, it doesnt sound much like an innocent male to me there.anon, female

When a woman is drinking and has her drink spiked, it is in no way ever her fault. It happened to me on holiday on my 16th birthday, I thought I was safe I was with my brother and a friend and I got separated from them. It's disgusting, terrifying and life changing. I never told anyone because I was too afraid to do anything about it. I don't want others to feel the same way I did.Elly, female

Some of the above comments are pretty disturbing in how much they place the blame onto victims of crime. I see it like this. If a man was sitting, out of his face at the side of the road and some one decided to bottle him over the head he would not be told 'well, you should have been expecting it'. So why if a woman is drunk and she is raped is it even considered that she is to blame or that 'she was asking for it'Cat, female

 So, a man can be held accountable for his drunken actions but a women can't? I smell double-standards!A Sexist Prick, AMIRITE?!, male

 As a young female student in Scotland, I believe that women should not use alcohol as an excuse. This is not meant to sound horrible. I myself have been in a situation of rape before. However, I do believe that as a woman you should not accept a drink from a unknown person on a night out unless you accompany them to the bar and personally take your drink from there. Plus one needs to know their limits and not get totally trashed..that just leads to a horrible night for everyone involved. The issue of reporting a rape just because you are "embarrassed" by it, is ridiculous and women who do that should get seriously prosecuted for doing this.Mo, female

I have no faith in our society if websites like this have to be created. If you are drunk, and get into a fight with someone that's sober, you are more likely you to be charged yet, if a drunk woman and sober man have intercourse, it's the man that's at fault. We shold not charge our opinions on rape. We should change, as a country our addiction to drink!Jill Pritchard, female

** THIS IS A DUPLICATE POST AS THE OTHER HAD A NAME ADDED*** The media likes to report false accusations because they like to push the status quo, they like to mimic myths that much of the (uneducated) public already buys into, also, most of the higher ups in the media, who decide what to report on are also male, it's no surprise that they would be ALL OVER a story about "false rape". Thing is, just because 2 stories are reported in the media, doesn't mean that the millions of other rapes are "false" too. Just because you see one albino chicken, doesn't mean all chickens are albino. One commenter said "but what about those two men who had their lives ruined"...Excuse me? Are you serious? What about the hundreds of thousands of millions of women who have their lives ruined because they were raped by a man? The "false rape" tripe is MRA BS. The amount of "false rapes" compared to the the number of "actual rapes" is pittance. "fake rape" is something that rape apologists bring up to put all of the blame on women. It's old, it's tired, it's wrong, and it's certainly not born out by FACTS. According to the FBI approximately 8% of accusations are "unfounded"...The number of false reports are assumed to be lower, because the "unfounded" number includes women who also don't want to continue on with investigation/prosecution for whatever reason (and by the way it's well known that many women don't want to investigate/prosecute because of re-traumatization, fear of retaliation, fear of not being believed etc. etc. However, whoever gave the 3% statistic should site where that was from. It's obvious that all these man harping about "false rape" just don't want to FACE THE TRUTH about this. Perhaps they are too ashamed, perhaps they think it's okay to rape women, perhaps they are just immorally corrupt and can't have an honest discussion that they have to lie about facts. Whatever the reasons, it's people like them who continue these absurd myths, and continue to defend rapists, and it is part of the reason why we live in such a women hating society where a women is raped every 2 seconds. Here's another fact for all you MRA's out there, according to the department of justice 99% of all rapists are male.Anonymous, female

The media likes to report false accusations because they like to push the status quo, they like to mimic myths that much of the (uneducated) public already buys into, also, most of the higher ups in the media, who decide what to report on are also male, it's no surprise that they would be ALL OVER a story about "false rape". Thing is, just because 2 stories are reported in the media, doesn't mean that the millions of other rapes are "false" too. Just because you see one albino chicken, doesn't mean all chickens are albino. One commenter said "but what about those two men who had their lives ruined"...Excuse me? Are you serious? What about the hundreds of thousands of millions of women who have their lives ruined because they were raped by a man? The "false rape" tripe is MRA BS. The amount of "false rapes" compared to the the number of "actual rapes" is pittance. "fake rape" is something that rape apologists bring up to put all of the blame on women. It's old, it's tired, it's wrong, and it's certainly not born out by FACTS. According to the FBI approximately 8% of accusations are "unfounded"...The number of false reports are assumed to be lower, because the "unfounded" number includes women who also don't want to continue on with investigation/prosecution for whatever reason (and by the way it's well known that many women don't want to investigate/prosecute because of re-traumatization, fear of retaliation, fear of not being believed etc. etc. However, whoever gave the 3% statistic should site where that was from. It's obvious that all these man harping about "false rape" just don't want to FACE THE TRUTH about this. Perhaps they are too ashamed, perhaps they think it's okay to rape women, perhaps they are just immorally corrupt and can't have an honest discussion that they have to lie about facts. Whatever the reasons, it's people like them who continue these absurd myths, and continue to defend rapists, and it is part of the reason why we live in such a women hating society where a women is raped every 2 seconds. Here's another fact for all you MRA's out there, according to the department of justice 99% of all rapists are male.Nic, female

This is a difficult one and probably the most difficult myth to debunk. I admit I have been guilty of victim-blaming in the past--not to people, but in my mind, thinking, "Well, she shouldn't have been drinking." I had also assumed that false rape accusations were far more common. But I've noticed that western culture seems to be heavily involved with drunk sex. I often see jokes about women needing a few drinks to be ready for sex. The fact of the matter is, if a woman has been drinking, and her partner has not been drinking, and she's begging him for sex, and he agrees, he is taking advantage of her impaired judgment. This is rape. Children have been known to flirt with adults--that doesn't mean that an adult can't be convicted of statutory rape. Someone who has sex with a severely mentally handicapped person is also guilty of rape. When there is any question of ability to make a sound judgment, one of the parties is guilty of rape. It's that simple. I think this myth, although the hardest to debunk, is also the most essential. This was hard to write, and I'm not sure if everything I said made sense. But I hope it did.Rachael, female

 Should people be more responsible when they drink? Sure. If someone falls over drunk and splits their lip, go ahead and laugh and point fingers. But when a drunk person is raped, someone else committed that crime. No one is to blame but the rapist. Period. Stop with the victim blaming people.ZoBabe, female

 This is an easy one, don't have sex with someone who is drunk. The comments about getting a woman drunk to get her "in the mood" really mean, let's impair her judgement. And there's lots of peer presurre for this. The most common rape drug is alcohol.Linda, female

I am so happy to find this issue to be addressed, i found this site through deviantart.com and it had taken me off gaurd....I was raped when I was 15 and I was intoxicated. The guy that did it was with his friend and clearly knew I was messed up and offered me more alcohol, bottom line he ended up getting drunk aswell but i remember being taken to an abandon house, robotussin being poured down my throat, being disgusted, and waking up cold and alone. That was the way I lost my virginity. I never told anyone. I blamed myself and told myself it was all my fault. The first time I admitted I got raped was in rehab about 1.5 years later, seeing as after that my drug use spiralled into unmanagable addiction. Basically what I'm saying is, women and men need to know that if instances like this occur even alcohol involved you can admit it to yourself and accept it, and I think this site is a really positive thingM, female

 I think it is good to raise awareness to help people that have been raped and too prevent it happening in the future by giving people advice. Personally i agree with the above comments, if a women is that drunk that she cant walk etc... a man has no right to have sex with her. But at the same time after reading some of the above comments some people need to take better care of themselves. I mean elly, your not even legally allowed to drink until your 18, so getting wasted on your 16th birthday reguardless of who you were with was putting yourself in danger. Not only because you had been drinking but because you were on holiday and didnt know the area. Iam not saying it was your fault, but just consider if you hadnt been drinking? Its the same for many stories i have heard, alot of my female friends have been in the same situtation and have been raped. I can also agree with gary about rape being thrown around too much. To me i think people in britain drink too much and have too much sex with different partners, and i think the knock on effect is that people become so execpting to have sex that it leads to problems. By no way is every man out there a rapist, but there are men out there who are sick and must be stopped. As for the same for women, there are women who have been raped, but its the ones who cry wolf that dont help the situation. I think we all need to take better care of one and other and stop jumping into bed so quick and actually injoy the finer aspects of relationships and courtship. Sorry about the rant.Peter, male

Rape is wrong! full stop! but this campaign is shocking it's not the correct way to educate people on the subject. and by saying this I am not a rape "apoligist" as quoted by some other comments but a male who feels the poster campaign in the street send a message of making males feel like criminals! steve, male

 All of you naysayers and rape apologists should think of only one thing....what if it were your daughter in this situation? Are you sure you'd be so quick to condemn?Anelle, female

 Someone above asked, "why do you have to tell people not to rape?" Because people get raped. Regardless, that's not the point of this campaign.Hazel, female

Perhaps people should be more careful when suggesting that a woman was "asking for it". In saying that a woman is "asking to be raped" if she gets paralytically drunk, I would hope that people don't mean that she is fair game. It is clear that getting so drunk that you can't walk, talk or think properly is stupid anyway, whatever gender you are. Rape cases against men aside, if a man was to get ridiculously drunk I would be concerned that they'd be "asking to be" mugged for example. This in no way excuses the mugger or rapist, it is just an acknowledgement that muggers and rapists exist and that people should look out for themseleves and for their friends. On the subject of sober man, drunk woman, I should hope that most men would feel uncomfortable in this situation due to the moral implications. If both are drunk to any degree, both have impaired judgement. The fact of the matter is, however, that a lot of people have sex while drunk. I reckon that it should be classed as rape if either party should have reasonably known that the other party did not want to consent, or was not capable of making that decision. I agree that it's not a conclusion that should be drawn in the light of sobriety and regret the following morning, but memory loss / drunkeness can't excuse crime. I suppose its the difference between thinking "oh I can't believe we ended up in bed together, I wouldn't have had I been sober", and "I feel like he knew he was taking advantage of (raping) me" or "i think he spiked my drink / deliberately got me drunk". And just to conclude I think rape is an awful crime, and I think the prosecution rate is a great failing of our legal system. I think this campaign is in part doing what its supposed to be doing already, by forcing people to think about what rape is, and how it is perceived.G, male

this is a joke. we dont need a website to tell us thisDF, male

The whole drinking culture and idea among men that you have to 'get a bird back' on a saturday night is a bad one. In the highlighted cases, had the man thought, tnis girl is not in a condition to consent, I won't the case WOULD NOT HAVE ARISEN. I had a one night stand when I was younger. This woman came back to mine with the promise of some cocaine. We snorted and chatted for a bit and when we went to bed we had sex - she initiated. The next morning she did express some minor regret and joked that she would acuse me of rape just in a passing comment. She obviously wouldnt and didnt. Whilst we kept in touch any chance of anything further had dissapeared in that night. It made me realise how vulnerable women are when intoxiactaed and how this can affect their judgement. I have never had a one night stand since. I will only take a number and am now in a relationship that probably would not have resulted if a one night stand had occured when we met. IF A WOMAN IS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF DRINK OR DRUGS A MAN SHOULD KNOW THAT SEX SHOULD NOT OCCUR. IT IS NOT THE WOMANS FAULT IF SEMI/NON CONSENSUAL SEX OCCURES WHEN INTOXICATED. Whilst I do sympathise with men who are blatently flasely accused, it is not the drinking culture but the practice among men of cajoling intoxicated women into sex that needs to change.chris, male

to the people who are saying that being drunk and forced into sex is not rape, what if the girl drunk is your best friend or your sister? are you going to be the one to tell them it is their own fault? that if they hadn't been drunk it wouldnt have happened? surely its still wrong if the girl did not want it to happen at the time. no means no whatever the situation.carol, female

In response to Devil's Advocate, I think it's an interesting point. If both parties are extremely drunk and have impaired judgement, the girl (or guy) can't knowingly consent, but the guy (or girl) isn't knowingly ignoring that consent that hasn't been given, does this mean rape took place? If neither party realises they're taking advantage/being taken advantage of, where does the responsibility lie?Angela, female

“Drunken consent is still consent” declared Justice Roderick Evans. I feel he is correct, and I also agree with 'Devil's Advocate' - two people who are drunk end up having sex - if he accused her of rape, it would be laughed at long and hard, whilst she is expecting the full force of law to come down on him if she accuses him. Yes - men must take responsibility for their actions and be made accountable irrespective of a womans actions, dress etc. Women must also take responsibility for their actions. I agree that dress, previous behaviour etc shouldn't be judged but acohol, and other drugs taken freely by the woman does cloud the issue (spiking of drinks etc is another thing entirely). If a person (male or female) is so drunk they can't remember what happened then there is no way of knowing if consent was given at the time, and an 'oh sh*t, I shouldn't have done that - he raped me' response later, when sober, isn't good enough.A survivor, female

This is an often-confused issue. There is a distinction to be drawn between someone putting themselves in a dangerous situation, and then being responsible for crimes commited against them. It's true - it's never a good idea to get blootered. That goes for everyone. It does make you less capable of defending yourself from attack of any sort. But let's not muck about - even if you are incapable of defending yourself, you still have the absolute right not to be molested. Even if you're dead drunk, unconscious, on the floor, nobody has the right to do anything to you, except perhaps put you in the recovery position and call you a numpty. The perpetrator of any crime committed against someone under the influence - theft, assault, rape or anything - is the responsibility of the perpetrator, not the victim. Oh, and guys, stop harping on about cases of a few men who were unjustly accused of rape and how it affected their lives - I'm sure it's terrible if that happens to you, but there are thousands of women raped in Scotland every year, and most of them never see any justice. So, while I'm not saying that we want to see more injustice against men to balance things up, let's just bear in mind what the real problem is here, yes?Gareth Simpson, male

I see your campaign doesn't highlight the cases we hear of women DESTROYING mens lives by crying rape. It's all too easy to cry rape after a boozy night out. I remember reading stories about guys who eventually get proved innocent after losing their jobs, homes and everything they worked for because of false claims. Their names are in the paper with threats of long jail sentences. What happens to the woman who get found guilty of making false claims? A few hours community service. I'm sorry this campaign sickens me. It's so sexist I can't beleive. Rape is a terrible thing, but to unfairly tar ALL men with the same brush using these sensationalist adverts is not right. Remember men are your grandfathers, fathers, brothers and sons. Please don't stigmatise one half of the population. Your campaign has gone too far, we aren't all bad guys!scott, male

@ Reality, female 3% of false allegations are still quite alot. And keep in mind rape is a tricky thing, unlike other crimes where you KNOW it's a crime just by it happening, with rape, the action is not the crime the intent is. Therefore it comes down to one big contest of who is more credible based on surrounding opinion. If the man admits to having sex with the woman but says she gave consent, thats all it really is, one big he said she said. And people are prone to taking the womans side by default. So while I agree that many women do not report rape, I seriously doubt that false allegations are only 3%reality male, male

how dare you suggest this is a womans fault? i was raped by a man who deliberately got me drunk and that i thought i could trust. When you've been screaming for someone to stop then maybe you won't be so judgemental.17, female

Dudes, this is why you shouldn't have it off with any lassie whilst she's drunk - It's your responsibility as men. It's not fair, it's sexist and it's not right, but it's the Law.James, male

By police own statistics only 3% of rape allegation fall into the catagory of "false allegation" the same percentage as any other crime. It is one of the great rape myths that women "cry" rape after regretting sex. It is predicted that up to 90% of rapes go unreported. The horror and trauma that a woman has to undergo after making an allegation of rape is so severe that no one would willingly go through with it. The whole concept of consent needs to be re-thought as currently, wives, daughters, girlfriends and mothers all over the country are being raped and ignored by society. A woman who submits to the pressure of sex is not necessarily consenting and men need to be aware that women are not simply here to satisfy their sexual urges.Concerned, female

why cant men acknowledge the problem with rape is down to them? as soon as t is raised they raise flank issues to detract from and overwhelmingly male created problem. Perhaps if men for once stood up to fight against it then women could concentrate on battling with the minority of false cases and the issues that arise therein. Until there is some kind of admittance from guys that they never chase this issue down themselves I couldnt care less if some bloke somewhere was wrong;y accused. Certainly not when the woman was imprisoned as a result. Thousands of women myself inclucded live with the consequences of never seeing their case go to trial because of the huge issues that face us down.alison, female

'whether you get raped, mugged or run over as you stagger across the street you need to accept responsibility and realise that this would probably not have happened had you not been out of your face' so if a girl is overpowered abused and violated after having a drink she should be held responsible? you think that girls who drink are all sluts who are asking to be raped? how close minded prejudiced and judgemental is that! i have a friend who was raped at a party, she'd had two drinks but the guy was twice her size and she couldnt fight him off. was it her fault because she'd been drinking? did she lead him on by having a glass of wine and talking with her friends?katie, female

Ryan and Devil's advocate - well, your comments really cement the attitudes this campaign is trying to redress! Firstly - devil's advocate, there is a very big difference between a "rape" and a "regret" in the morning! Believe me, as a victim of rape whilst drunk (asleep in my own bed, actually), and of a very different feeling of "woops" the next day, both situations are very different. Rape is not about feeling regret for something you consented to at the time - it's a crime that is committed when that person says "no" at ANY POINT, even if there was some form of consent initially, and also where a victim is INCAPABALE OF SAYING NO, which does not make it a yes, for example being too drunk to say no. I should not have to alter my behaviour - rapists should. Men's mentality should. And Ryan - with only 2.9% of trials for rape being convicted in Scotland, I'd say that these men might very well have been guilty. So re-think your attitudes. It's time men started taking responsibility and accepting rape as THEIR issue. It's never OK, it's never the victim's fault, and there is never an excuse.frustrated, female

We need to look into the number of rape cases that don't even get to court due to 'lack of evidence', because people drop out before court or the perpetrators who don't ever get charged and put this in context with the number of cases where 'women are crying rape'. A bit of perspective please. It's about time we realised that drinking isn't a crime...rape and sexual assult is.Anonymous, female

i believe that people do not ask or deserve to be raped ever! however, there are people who rape, who pray, illicit, manipulate and take advantage of individuals and the situation that occurs for their own gratification. therefore i feel that it is my responsibility to minimise the risk to me, i'm aware that if i walk home alone at 3 in the morning that leaves me at risk of attack, i also feel that if i get blind drunk that also leaves me at risk of attack! obviously this is different if i have been plied with alchol or drugs. in neither situation i am at fault- the rapist is!! but i'm aware that rape might happen if that makes sense?? i was sexually abused as a child so do have a level of personal insight i'm also a mother to an adult son and daughter with whom i discuss these issues frankly now and when they were growing up!! there can be discussion on the rights and wrongs of this situation - women should be able to do whatever they like with no risks - period!! however the reality is some men rape!beej, female

Health issues aside, I should be able to drink myself under the table without worrying about being taken advantage of.Lynn, female

Saying that someone wearing skimpy clothes or who is drunk doesn't deserve to get raped is like saying people who drink and drive don't deserve to die. You made that decision now you live with the consequences. Personal responsibility, folks. The backbone of modern society.Bridget, female

I agree fully that being drunk is no excuse for rape being a woman's fault. However, rape is rape- and drunken sex is drunken sex. The two things are vastly different based on consent- the woman consented to drink, so if you feel that disables her ability to consent to sex, then it IS her fault under those circumstances. However, if you believe that consent can be given while drunk, though regretable, it would not be a womans fault.John, male

Drunken consent is still consent just as drunken assault is still assault. If you are so intoxicated you have sex with somebody inappropriate, it is your own fault. It is not rape. As a man I have got drunk and slept with unattractive women. Does the fact that they were soberer than I was, and took advantage of this fact, mean that I was raped by them?Alan, male

Yes sober female, you're quite right. There's NO WAY a man twice my size, strength and weight would manage to overpower and drag me into an alley if I wasn't 'out of my face'. Yes, being drunk makes you a little lax with inhibition but it does NOT give anyone the right to pin the blame or say "I told you so". It is ridiculous to think that just because a woman has a drink in her she is somehow responsible for the actions of the dumb animal they call "rapist". It is her decision to drink and his decision to assault. Think before you type.Outraged, female

i find it absolutely insane! i was recently raped and my girlfriend and friend got punched in the face leaving my friend with two black eyes, even so! the guy got away with it all he was charged with three things and got away with it all! HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN! i still cant get my head around it and i really think something needs to be done because its not fair!sammy, female

In response to some of the comments here: if a mugger were to turn up to court and say that *of course* s/he attacked and robbed someone, they were *drunk*, nobody would put the responsibility for the theft on the victim and refuse to prosecute the criminal. It's a ridiculous argument no matter what the crime is, and rape and sexual assaults are *crimes*, not slips of judgement.Suz, female

Funny that there is a widely held view that women should not drink if they don't want to get raped, but not that men should stay sober if they don't want to get mugged or attached. Women are blamed when crimes are committed against them and men are not - a very important distinction. If a woman says 'no' or is in fact too out-of-it to say 'yes', don't have sex with her. It's not that difficult!Sue, female

If a woman gets raped because she is vulnerable due to being under the influence of alcohol then she is to blame.Anthony, male

I have to say that the issue of alcohol is a lot harder to be clear cut on. But I would never respect a man that would go after someone that was off their face. A good man would put her to bed, cook her breakfast, and see if she was interested in the morning, she she was sober. If you're just a bit tipsy I think you are still able to consent. But so frequently it is the case that the victim was UNCONSCIOUS during the act. How can you blame the victim when this is the case? No-one deserves to be raped, to have to go through that trauma, and the possibility of being pregnant or having an STD just because they decided to have a few too many drinks. It is legal to drink after all.Katherine, female

I am really torn on this issue. Whilst it is definately not right atall for a man to take advantage of a drunk woman, and i think that if she wishes she should be able to drink if she wants. It is hard to prove something that neither one may not be able to fully remember. Either way bad things are going to happen; whether it is injustice for a woman who was raped and unable to prove that she did not consent, or, a wrongful conviction for an innocent man who had a one night stand. I don't know that this problem can ever really be solved!Hayley, female

Actually, if one is stupid enough to get drunk beyond control, then yes, it is your fault. We now know the effects of alcohol. We know that it lowers inhibitions. Women wanted empowerment, but they don't want the responsibility for it. If you must get drunk, do so in a safe environment, or limit yourself to a couple of drinks if you insists on going out. Trust me, a girl on my floor freshman year of college almost ruined a guy's life because she drunkenly agreed to sex, then tried to call rape. Thankfully, she later admitted to false accusations.Anti-feminist Woman, female

to "sober, female" - just because that idea may make you feel safer, "above" the risk of being raped, does not make it logical, accurate, moral, or ethical. people who live in glass houses can't afford to throw stones - and however much you might like to distance yourself from the rest of your gender, we are all stuck in a bloody greenhouse as long as men keep raping - and getting away with it.Isabel, female

People seem to focus on a lot on false accusations and use them as a reason not to believe genuine victims. It may seem like false accusations happen all the time because they are in the paper...but due to the very fact they are deemed a worthy news story shows how rare they actually are. Don't let a few malicious women alter your view of all women. Also, to sober female - a criminal makes the decision to rape/mug etc staying sober won't stop an attack if the criminal really wants to commit the crime.Anon, female

Seriously people? What is wrong with everyone! Don't put yourself into a position of weakness if you don't plan on being taken advantage of, plain and simple.Anonymous, female

Wow - it is always pretty uncomfortable reading some of these comments. To Lynn - you are very right, unfortunately there are situations where we are more at risk and we should be vigilant and try to be as careful as possible. Sadly sometimes we can be unlucky despite all precautions possible. Also, who can we protect ourselves from our father, brother, boyfriend, friend or husband who is statistically more likely to perpetrate sexual violence against us than some stranger on a dark street. The reporting rate for rape is shockingly low and DECREASING. The stats indicate that only 1 in 5 women report and only a fraction of those that report go to court and again, less than 3% of those 'successful' cases result in conviction. There is no other crime with stats like these! In fact there are reports that police are taking women to court for wasting police time of they choose not to pursue the case. Being a witness to your own rape and having to answer degrading questions in court about your sexual activity, being judged by a jury who are judging you (and not generally taking the woman's side by default as someone else suggested) with only a 3 in 100 chance of getting a guilty charge secured is enough to daunt anyone, don't you think? Wouldn't you perhaps just try to move on and try to accept the terrible thing done to you rather than press charges? I would. Whether or not to report is a decision each person has to make by themself and it is not an easy decision - Rape Crisis do a great job of trying to get more information out about the process as unfortunately many people are under-informed. This campaign aims to take some of the judgement away from the survivor (male or female) and back with the rapist who is more than likely to get away with his crime and it is the survivor who has to suffer the consequences and make all the decisions about reporting, STDs, pregnancy, who to tell etc etc etc... Why don't we all try for some more compassion and stop looking at it as men vs women and look at it as criminals vs victims of crime? Perhaps this is the 'bigger picture' the chauvinist feminist hater meant... Also, well done to everyone who has shared their stories here - that takes guts folks, you are the survivors however and whatever happened!Informed, female

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Your comments on Relationships

To associate pictures of a Wedding with rape is just the confirmation I needed for taking my beautiful wife and children away from this country. I know you already hate me but as a husband and father of five children I will say this..... My children will not see one of your billboards, TV ads, or Newspaper articles. But I am totally confident my four sons will be in every way respectful of any woman they ever encounter. And I hope for them the same love a man can feel for a woman, the happiness of being with her, and joy of holding each newborn child. As for my daughter, I want her to love, be loved, and have her fairytale wedding. I wish for all of my children the happiness my wife and I have, which is captured in every picture of our wedding day. This campaign seems designed to destroy that image for all of my children.John Kirkwood, male

This campaign is challenging even to those who think their feelings on this topic are well-established. Culturally marital rape has long been brushed under the carpet, and the attitudes referred to about girls being to blame for being raped are commonplace. That's why I think this campaign is both necessary and effective - the idea is to challenge these perceptions. The association of rape with marriage is not perpetrated by Rape Crisis Scotland, but by the men who have abused their position of power within their relationships. I am so pleased that this campaign is sparking debate - maybe attitudes really can be changed and people will accept that there is no circumstance where it is acceptable to force a woman to have sex. Well done, keep up the good work, I fully support this.Leigh-Anne Fyfe, female

John Kirkwood, male, calm down, this is meant to make people more aware, which it clearly is. No need to leave the country. I'd leave the country if married woman were being raped by their husbands, and no one was taking notice.Leesah Williamson, female

John, best of luck with your new life. I would look in the brochures for countries where melodrama is popular. This campaign does not in any way seek to undermine marriage, it seeks to challenge rape myths. Many people, perhaps you are one of them, labour under the notion that rape simply cannot happen in marriage or relationships, the image concerned simply attempts to question that notion. The fact is, if you care to check out some of the statistics on rape and sexual violence, that women are raped most commonly by someone they know. This statistic includes rape by husbands and partners as well as aquaintances. I would want my daughter to know that if they experienced rape or any other horrible crime that they were not to blame, that they could tell someone without fear of being made to feel ashamed or that they had done something wrong and that they would have a good chance of justice. Your sons are much more likely to be influenced negatively by a woman blaming, sexist and misogynist culture than they are by a few billboards over the next fortnight, unfortunately. Unless of course you, and others around them, can instill values which counter this. Which I am sure you will.Andrea, female

I can't believe that a campaign raising awareness of rape, particularly in marriage (which, whether you like it or not does happen, and all too often goes unreported, as women feel that somehow as they are married they cannot be "raped"), would provoke such an extreme reaction in you, I hope to the stories of women being raped also provoke such a strong reaction and have you campaigning against rape in some way? I am a newlywed (2 months) and I dont look at that picture and then associate weddings in general, my wedding or any other picture of a wedding with rape. This is meant to be a hard hitting campaign and challenge people's thinking. Although I do not have any children I would be more than happy for mine to see this campaign in fact I would welcome it. Unfortuantely your over the top reaction to this campaign goes to prove that it really is the "new" generation we have to target as some people aren't open minded enough. Lets not forget it was only 1989 that rape in marriage was made a crime. I sincerely wish all the things for your children that you do within marriage, but the facts remain the same rape in marriage happens and if this campaign helps just one woman to recognise this and report this its worth the loss of you and your familly to another country.Kirsty , female

John, it is extremely worrying that you are more concerned with upholding the idea that nothing bad can happen in marriage than you are for the women who have suffered rape in a relationship. Try to have a little empathy and remember that the world does not revolve around you.JenniferRuth, female

Do you not wish your sons to have a fairytale wedding? Just out of interest of course....Joanne, female

I have to be honest about this i find this whole thing a little shocking, i was driving to my local asda with my dad to do my weekly shopping (i have saw this a number of times now) when i saw the bill board poster of the married couple and the saying, i found this deeply depressing as i myself was in a 6 year relationship with a previous partner, who had raped me a number of times ove a long time frame. It took me a long time to go to the pilce about this, infact it was two relationships later i am now married to a wonderful man who knows all abnout my past that i felt able to go to the police about it. The thing that gets me id the person who dome it to me did the same to my young sister and the guy had gotten away with it. nothing got doen to him and he still lives in the same area as i do. i am in constant fear that me may try to contact me again or try to see my sons (he is the bio dad). i am sorry but were is the justice? i have had to live with a secret for years and when i say something it is too late and he gets of 'scot free'. i still get terribly upset when i see things on tv about things like rape or even hear about it in the news it hits me in a place i wish i could shut of, and now when i go for my shopping i have to hide from this masive sign as it gives me flash backs and makes me depressed. All i can say is i was lucky i found my husband who has been nothing but my strength. i cant even begin to imagine what a person would be feeling who does not have what i have. while i can see the good that could and can come out of it, for myself it hits a raw nerve, the person who did it to me got away with it/Claire, female

Good work, as usual, Rape Crisis. You all do a fantastic job and should be proud of your achievements!! Claire, I feel bad that the campaign has induced flashbacks. Even though your life has moved forward positively, there is help out there for you if you needed to talk about how you feel. I was raped in marriage many times and only 8 years later did I realise it was rape. The rape was just one part of the abuse I faced on a weekly basis. I knew it was wrong because of how it made me feel but it felt less serious to me at the time because I was married. If this campaign makes women think and helps them realise it's wrong and it is rape then the more in your face and confronting the better I say. We should not shy away from the truth. The hidden shame should be tackled head on. As women, we should be supportive of each other and I hope that men support us too, to help diminish gender based violence.Julie, female

This is so true. It's sad to think that, in addition to all the other things women aren't allowed to do without "asking for it", like dressing and acting in the ways that make us happy, we aren't even allowed to have relationships unless we're willing to give up our right to say "no". Even when a woman breaks up with a guy and is raped later, you still hear people making these excuses for the ex.Megan, female

It would be a good conversation starter for you to explain that even when you are married, respect is important. Your children should be aware. Moving is kind of an overreaction and it does not help spread awareness.Rachel, female

Unfortunately I - along with every man I know - think that this advertisement campaign is an insult to men everywhere. To find it such a priority to remind men NOT to rape women is ridiculous. Implying that men think that women wearing revealing clothing deserve to be raped is an absolute disgrace. Do we need reminded not to murder or not to torture? I think it is reasonable to suggest that women would be up-in-arms if a poster were published stating ‘ A rich man is not an invitation to steal all his money via a divorce settlement and then take full custody of his children ‘ which I can assure you, happen just as much as ‘invited rape’. This is sexism at its inexcusable worst and I think anyone believing the average man is a rapist should be ashamed of himself or herself. In a new world that profits on the fear of individuals, this is not only exploitative to young females but also abusive to the average man. Remind yourself that you all have fathers and often thoroughly decent men in your family; do you remind them not to rape? An absolutely disgraceful campaign; shame on you all.John smith, male

John Kirkwood, you have seriously missed the message.Elle, female

We don't hate you, John, and for you to make that assumption you must not be very comfortable with yourself. Why do you wish to shelter your children from the truth? I want your daughter to have her fairytale wedding, too, if that's what she wants, and if you are respectful of women then I imagine your sons will be as well. But you do not do your children any favours by shielding them from reality. The sad truth is that many women are raped within marriage--your sons would do well to be aware of it so that they can stand up against it, and your daughter should know too so that she is informed and strong enough to protect herself.Isa, female

Yes this campaign is hardhitting and emotive but it does happen if people think it doesn't they are naive. Speaking out about marital rape can only be a good thing. Why are people so afraid of the topic being 'out there', this is 2008 we challenge wrong doing not accept or ignore it. I will purposely bring this campaign to the attention of my two teenage daughters, it is something I want them to be aware of. I do not only hope they find loving and respectful partners, I teach them this is something they are entitled to.Necia Lewis, female

Seriously John Smith - you have completely missed the point of this campaign. It is NOT saying that all men are rapists, it is trying to highlight the beliefs widely held in our society that women are to blame if they get raped in each of these scenarios. All of these negative and uninformed comments only go to show how necessary this campaign is.Amy, female

It is good to see a new campaign to highlight rape in a hard hitting campaign,but in a Cosmopolitan culture, I would like to see an advert, that just for once, did not feature an indiginious, caucasion male as the perpetrator. Even in the Zero Tolerance campaign it is nearly always the message that only working class males in the West of Scotland commit these foul deeds. Your advert and billboards are designed to shock and spark comment and debate and that is what is happening as I type, so its obviously working!! I have a lovely young daughter and a fantastic wife and I do my best for them and would never ever want them to suffer anything so brutal and appalling as rape, and make sure I am on hand to pick my wife up after a night out and see her home safely. Please be advised, all men are not beasts.Alistair, male

As someone who has both been raped and raped in a relationship I would say this is the right direction, but really leaves out much of the complexity of the subject. My situations were not violent ones - each of us did not want to have sex and the other thought they were "seducing" us, but since we did not want to flee or fight we submitted. It was not as brutal as a violent encounter, but disturbing nonetheless. What was difficult was acknowledging the fact that we had raped each other (once each on different occasions). Neither of us could admit at first that we had done it - there was denial, blame, rationalization. How do you admit to yourself that you hurt, violated, the one you love? It is much easier to deny that it happened. Far to easy to get angry at the person for making you feel this way. Far too easy to hide behind statistics that women don't rape, or laws that say consent was given as a part of the vows. Moral of the story: if your partner doesn't want sex and is resisting your attempts to get him or her aroused, STOP! There is a high chance if you continue you are raping the one you love.Mark, male

 I think that rape in a relationship (marriage or partnership) is only part of the problem. Far too many people have been sexually abused at any early age by a family member like a sibling, parent, aunt, uncle, cousin and many more, when they are too young to know better - to even know what happened and understand it. I have a friend who this happened to by someone she trusted. It should have never happened.Jess, female

 This "campaign" is laughably poor. John Smith's comments are entirely accurate. The whole idea is assuming this odd femi-nazi mindset that "every man is a potential rapist, even your husband!". Inferring guilt before any offence has even been committed. Pictures of married couples with this warning, is that a sick joke? Is the idea to terrify ALL men to not even approach women in case they somehow lose control of themselves and rape their wives?!?! Belive me, the inferred guilt we are ALL taking on behalf of a TINY minority of men is offensive. It's not attacking the rapists, it's attacking people BEFORE any rape has happened. Guilt before innocence. And yes, rape is horrendously offensive, though I fail to see why I would need to bring that up. Firstly, people trying to "justify" rape aren't worth listening to. Secondly, when exactly does that happen? In pretty much every rape case I've ever heard about, the rapist is immediately and rightly demonised. Frankly, I find it grossly offensive to suggest that the idea that men everywhere are ok with rape as long as the woman is dressed a certain way. "Widely held" suggests something more than the actual amount of rapists out there, no? Thirdly, is it now commonly accepted that women are just not capable of sexual assualt at all? If you want to work on removing rape, you'd need to do a LOT better than shock image posters attacking a microscopic amount of people and actually get into some serious pyschological work regarding the mindset and behaviour of rapists. ACTUAL rapists. I do not want to diminish the importance of working against rape, but I do NOT take kindly to even the merest hint that I could either do it or assume it was ok because the woman was drunk.Frank, male

 You wouldn't be as cocky and judgemental if your daughter was in a very real situation like this one day, "John". The image of a wedding is (obviously) supposed to conjour up happy, content feelings, and that's the whole point of the campaign; to challenge what is otherwise overlooked all too often.Maria, female

Well, the ad campaign does at least have a shock factor, the first time I saw it I had to double check I read it right. So good job on that front, but I'm not in total agreement that doing it this way is the best method to educate. I've not completely read the website, but are there any plans to go to schools, workplaces or the like and gather up all the men, and condescendingly tell them, "now boys, no raping"?Simon Gilmore, male

Married or in a civil partnership? Your partner still has choices & must give consent.HW, male

 Don't know why I have to give my gender, but nevermind - as a non-raping man (we do exist..) I can say that a lot of anti-rape campaigns seem to tar all men with the same brush. This one is much more enlightened in that way, although I still don't quite believe the statistics (about half of people thinking it's ok to rape if you're married and such) based on my own experiences, but with statistics you can prove pretty much anything. Basically from as soon as I started having sex education at school age 10 as a boy we were taken into our own classes as the girls were, and we have been told not to rape, over and over. There is something about it that makes you feel like people assume you are a rapist, or at least a potential rapist. So whilst it's important to get the point across, it's important to be sensitive and not further demasculate and demonise boys like we have already failed with many black children by telling them repeatedly not to commit crime and basically stereotyping them.Rich, male

 I think its about time the law on rape was changed.There is a discrepancy between males and females on this issue.Women deserve to be protected but so do men,did you know that if a man is forceably penetrated his assailant cannot be charged with rape in Scotland.I believe men and women should be equal in the eyes of the law.This campaigns heart is in the right place but I would like to see it reflect the reality that this is a male problem also.Paisley boy, male

 After having a disagreement with someone recently, who believed it was impossible for a husband to rape his wife, I was really pleased to notice your campaign. I strongly disagreed with him and I am pleased you are challenging opinions like this. I hope it will give females (and males) the confidence to take their assault further.Jennifer, female

 Completely agree with John Kirkwood's comments, your advertising campaign is demonising men and using happy wedding photos to get your 'message' across is misguided and misleading.Chris, male

 My mother was raped by my Dad. I was far too young to understand at the time but I realised what was happening when I got older. I'm so glad this issue is being looked at. We left my Dad and moved country but took no action against him.Lois Jackson, female

Sadly, John Kirkwood's comment is all too typical. Let's just pretend these things don't happen, because it might taint this fairytale idea of marriage. Sweeping it under the carpet does nothing to protect children. Our daughters need to know that, unfortunately, a lot of people still think that marriage or a romantic relationship is consent to sex, unpleasant though that fact may be. I for one am thrilled that this campaign is talking about it, it needs to be said.Miaow, female

 This is so important, and it really saddens me that so many men are taking offense to this ad. These ads are not targeting men, or accusing all men of being rapists. They are targeting those people--male AND female--who assume that a woman deserves rape if she acts a certain way, or that a woman can't be raped if she's married or in a relationship. It's not a reminder "not to rape." And of course nobody's going to say they'd blame a victim of rape. It's not a comfortable thing to admit, and a lot of us aren't always conscious of it. I say "us" because I know that at some point, in my own mind, I, too, have engaged in victim-blaming. It's something that is very prevalent in western culture, and something I always have to be conscious of. I think campaigns like this are extremely important because they keep us all aware of how far we've come, and how far we still have to go.Rachael, female

 I don't understand why there are so many men who feel threatened by these advertisements. No where does it suggest that "all men are rapists", it simply states that women in these situations are not "asking for it". The campaign is focused on removing blame from the victims, not demonizing every man or boy on the planet. I do, however, need to say, I'm not a big fan of the forced gendering of comments.M, female

@Rachael: Actually it's seems that this is a campaign's ultimate goal is removing the legal concept that the girl (well, "rape victim") can be held partially responsible (whilst trying to garner support with several, frankly, "well duh" points). --- This campaign likes to imply that the girl might be drunk but say "no", or get intimate but then say "no", and that the guy blithely ignores her and proceeds to rape her. But we all know it doesn't happen like that in real life. The woman is drunk, the man is drunk, they're making out, removing clothes, she says something vague like "I'm not sure about this", they both back off, but they're still half-naked and together, and so they both start escalating it again. Repeat until sex. --- To say that, legally, this should be treated legally in the same way as a predator forcibly raping someone is disingenuous. But it's the clear motive of this campaign.Guy, male

 John, I love that you would rather have a woman raped by her own husband than have your children's image of marriage damaged. How pathetic are you? I think this is one of the more persistent myths, just because there are people out there who idealize relationships and marriage so much. Even the girl who has been raped might be confused - after all, he was her boyfriend, wasn't he? One thing I WOULD like to see in this site, though, is non gender-specific examples. It's not always women getting raped, nor is it always men doing the raping (although that depends on your definition - if you think it takes a penis going in for it to be rape, then you need to really think about it some more). Although the majority of cases might be that way, it would still be helpful to maybe even devote one small section to others who are raped that don't fit the set model (man on woman).Jamie, female

 As someone who was raped and assaulted in my first committed relationship because my partner honestly felt I 'owed' him something, I have to say I don't find this campaign in the least bit offensive. If you truly don't believe that the way you dress or your level of consent changes the attitude toward rape against you, read up on the web on marital rape laws, on the rates of convictions for the rape of prostitutes, on some police attitude toward the way women dress, on the lesser sentences imposed on those who rape someone who's drunk and claim they thought she/he consentedSam, female

For someone who has experienced marital rape, I am not at all offended by the association of a wedding picture with rape. In fact, I feel supported by this campaign's bravery to address it in such a direct way. Marital rape is a shameful reality that needs to be brought to light.Marlaina, female

 "This campaign likes to imply that the girl might be drunk but say "no", or get intimate but then say "no", and that the guy blithely ignores her and proceeds to rape her. But we all know it doesn't happen like that in real life." - Guy Yes it does, Guy. To say otherwise would be ignoring the facts. This campaign wouldn't exist if it weren't a real problem. The vast majority of rapes committed on drunk women are by sober men. "But it's the clear motive of this campaign." - Guy No, it isn't. The motive is to educate everyone that forced sex, no matter what the circumstance, is rape. Whether the woman is dressing provocatively, or being flirtatious, or drinking, or married to her rapist, it is still rape. You completely missed the point of this campaign. Good job.Hazel, female

The purpose of this campaign is not to say that all men are beasts. It's about educating the community - both men and women. I work at a women's refuge and I hear countless stories about men who have forced their partners into having sex by claiming 'you're my wife, you have to!' and women going along with it either out of fear of being further abused or because they feel like they have to because 'he's my husband.' This campaign is about reminding people that they have a choice of whether or not to have sex and that sex is not a right. For the men on this forum who are worried that their wife/girlfriend is going to cry rape if they try to initiate sex, don't worry, this campaign is not trying to destroy your sex life. It is just asking you to ensure that the sex is consensual. And to the great men out there who are sick of having their gender tarnished by other men who are violent against women, stand up to your mates/brothers/etc. and say that you are appalled by their behaviour. Get involved with White Ribbon Day which is an international campaign to involve men in stopping men's violence against women.Helen, female

I think this is amazing you've used this photo relating it to marital rape. I think rape comes from so many problems of our society, the main one to live in a fairytale world, an imaginary world, where our morals and ethics and religious beliefs create 'reality'. But fairytales are not the reality. And rape is. Thanks for the powerful images. Some people might react blindly and angrily, but some will be sure to question themselves and their own experiences.Bastian, female

 If a woman or a man says no then thats the end of it .. no if buts or mabys .. it has nothing to do with someone dressing a certain way, being married or even if they have went up to a certain point and then felt that they don't want to go anyfurther. It is what it is and if sex is forced upone someone it's rape ... while i think that this is a grate campaine and that it is deffinetly getting the public talking about rape and what the deffinition of rape actually is, what i want to know is why is it all focused on woman ? Men can be rapped too, and i don't just mean by other men i mean by a woman ... think about it if a woman can be pressured into not being able to say no then the same thing can happen to a man can it not ? Why isnt their a campaine for sexual abuse against men?Christina Hunter, female

The obvious and immediate interpretation of these ads is that they patronise and demonise men. As can be seen from posts here, you've just alienated half your audience. Well done.Dan, female

Hey, John Smith...you who say 'Remind yourself that you all have fathers and often thoroughly decent men in your family; do you remind them not to rape?'. Wish you could have been there to remind *my* father this. He was the one that raped me.Anon 1, female

My ex-husband never raped me, but he did sexually harass me for quite some period of time. It was demeaning, left me feeling like a slut, unloved, dirty and powerless. I coped by sleeping in a different room. /////yes - being raped by someone you know, love and trust is extreamly traumatic and very difficult to come to terms with afterwards. Having said that, I also agree with what John Kirkwood said. I understand that you need strong images to make an impact, but not all marriages, or even partnerships, end in rape. My new husbadn is more loving, caring, understanding and protective of me, and our unborn son, that I could ever imagine. I know he will keep me safe and that he would never do anything hurt me, and would certainly never ever inflict any kind of sexual contact on me that I didn't want, even down to kissing. Please remember that not all guys are potential rapists, there ARE some good 'uns out there too. And - don't don't forget that is not just women who get raped - it happens to men too.A survivor, female

Thank you so much for bringing this into th open. And please ignore calls from people that images of marriage shouldn't be associated with rape - the fact that the majority of rapes are carried out by partners or former partners means that it is already associated, whether we like it or not! It's infinitely more important that people are made more aware of this than that children are shielded from this knowledge, and encouraged to believe in fairytales.Gareth Simpson, male

To John: you live in a bubble - and what a glorious bubble it is. Your romantic view on what a relationship should be seems over-simplistic and naive. Your own marriage seems ideal and you place great emphasis on being respectful to women and your confident hope that your sons will follow this pattern in the future. If only all romantic relationships were built on your foundation. What unnerves me is the fact you don't seem to acknowledge, or want to acknowledge, a primary concern that not all marriages are based on mutual respect and do not follow your fairytale guideline. If only they did! I suggest you do your research to gain some critical insight and knowledge into the very harsh reality of what some women face on a daily marital basis rather than running away with a blindfold and a very unfocussed ideology. I don’t think this campaign is “designed to destroy the image” for all of your children. It merely raises awareness and promotes caution for women in order to understand and look out for themselves or to question the nature of a relationship if things go horribly wrong. Not all men have women’s best interests at heart, unlike yourself. And no, I don’t think the women who run this site are as quick to judge in hating you either.Justine, Sydney, female

question ... why are there no images of female - male rape? oh i know, because when a woman is pressuring a man for sex she is being assertive, but switch it around and he's a creep. marriage happens for a number of reasons. the least of which is love. culturally speaking, marriage is to legitimise sex and offspring. I can agree that a husband forcing his wife to have sex is bad and needs to be addressed, but it's not on the same level as "rape".reality, male

in relationships people should take no for sexryan philip, male

Marriage and marital sex are mutually contradictory. Partner rape is perhaps, a more appropriate term. The notion of marital rape is an idea invented by women libbers and has no place in a proper marital home. If you do not want your spouse to have free access to your body why do you marry him or her? You can stay spinster or bachelor and seek out sex from outside when you want it.Christian, male

I feel that this image conjours up exactly what it should. That to the public eye a marriage/relationship can look happy but no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors. I was in a violent relationship for 8 years from the age of 16. My ex always wanted to end every violent episode by making up with intercourse. I didn't want to but if I tried to explain the violence would start again and the cycle repeated itself until I gave in for the sake of my safety. It wasn't mutual intercourse and I was frightened. I am now married to a wonderful man but have developed clinical depression for the second time in my life. My memories of that time are now very vivid and invade my every thought. I never told anyone in the 8 years I was with him and have only come to terms with it in the last couple of year - it has been 7 years. My counsellor has confirmed to me that what he did was a form of a rape and this has shocked me to the core. I am not dealing with it very well and feel it is important for people to recognise that abuse like this in relationships does exist and we need to be aware that someone could be suffering in silence. I was 17 when it began and am now 31. It is ruining my life.Anon, female

John, you are missing the point. Unfortunately, rape can and does exist within committed relationships, including marriage. This campaign is not saying that marriage or weddings or bad -- simply that just because someone is married doesn't mean that rape legally and physically can't happen. Until the day comes when rapes no longer happen we have to have images like this to make ourselves confront our long-held myths. As long as you are raising your children to respect everyone's right to have sex only when, where, and with whom they want to have it, then you are in agreement with the campaign. The point is to educate about rape, and reduce its occurrence, which it sounds like you are in favor of. You are just confused by the ad, apparently.Gina, female

John, i understand if the style of the message conveyed isn't for you but it clearly is not seeking to link your marriage and rape, it is actually separating your marriage from those who use the bit of paper as a sham to protect their abuse of their spouseFran, female

Well it's a pity that people like John, below, are so disappointed that the image of the fairytale wedding hides another reality for many women. Where women are sexually assaulted by their partners, that image needs to be called into question. As long as people prefer to be ostriches about it, marital rape remains a crime that is committed with impunity, and women's lives continue to be endangered (Yes, it's a statistical finding that men who rape their partners are more likely to murder them). While we we all want our daughters to have fairytale relationships, saving their lives and spirits with awareness is more important.Louise, female

To John Kirkwood, I hope your daughter gets her fairytale wedding. I had mine. It wasn't until I was pregnant with our second child that my husband started sexually assaulting me. He is from a nice family with good values, a volunteer in the community, an okay father and a loyal employee. He is also a rapist. Think about how hard it is to face that truth.Carleen, female

Way to miss the point, John Kirkwood.Kat, female

reality I can not believe what you said "it's not on the same level as "rape"." You tell that to someone who has survived it.. you tell them when they are having flashbacks, you tell them that when they are waking up from nightmares, you tell them that when they are crying, you tell them that when they are sitting there with a knife and thinking where can I cut this time! You tell me that just because I was in a relationship with someone that I deserved getting raped! That it was not as bad as other rapes! HOW DARE YOU! you live one day in my shoe's and see how you feel! I do agree however that there definitly should be stuff about men on this too, because it is true that men can be victims of this too, and I don't think it is fair to put all the blame on men, because believe it or not woman do rape too!cathy, female

In response to John Kirkwood's post, I think that his attitude is actually adding to the attitude that women cannot be raped within marriage. Ignorance is no excuse, and sheltering your children from knowing that rape can happen within marriage will only help spread that myth. Clearly that advert is not associating all marriage with rape; that would be ridiculous to suggest. However, if his children are old enough to understand rape, then they are old enough to understand that rape CAN happen within marriage, not that it always DOES. He should be ashamed of his attitude.S, female

My husband raped me 9 years ago, and I'm still not over it. I lost my home, my dog and even my children, because I was so terrified, I left . My children and my own family don't believe me, because, sometimes he seemed like a "nice guy." My own adult children think I'm crazy. Since the rape, I feel like I'm in a nightmare from which I can never wake up.Anonymous, female

There are, unfortunatly, many people who think, "we're a couple, you belong to me, I CAN TREAT YOU HOWEVER I WANT..." unfortunatly I knew one of those once, and I am still having problems with committing to the new man in my life...Cher(notthesinger), female

I think the issue in this campaign is more than important enough to stand alone as a discussion. The issue of male rape is a related, but seperate issue to that of society's preoccupation with female victims' culpability in their own predation. This campaign would support, not detract, from a future campaign targeting the victimisation of the male image. This idea that anyone is not masculine enough/not powerful enough.., I find it interesting that male victims get called "wimen". I think it's a smart move to have us choose to reveal our gender as debates on this issue often descend to which 'side' the opinion came from. Honesty and intelligence without debating which kind of cleavage we own would be nice. Gender is a point of view: The Sex we're born to is simply an anatomical fluke, so should be a health issue, not a property one. Very strong campaign. Thank you.Lynsey, transgender

John, the campaign isn't claiming that the wedding itself is a form of rape/control, only that some men and women believe that within the marriage, sex is automatically not rape, and that rape cannot occur because the woman has consented to marriage. Which,a s you obviously know, is a different consent to consent to sex at any time. Moving is an overreaction to what, overall, is one picture by a charity, surely?Amelia, female

Kudos to these ads! I think this is a wonderful way to raise awareness that rape is a crime both emotionally, mentally and physically and while it isn't right to live in a world of fear, everyone needs to be aware that Rape can happen anytime, anywhere and by anyone. The victim (mostly women) should not be demonized or made to feel like it is her fault. It bugs me that the first thing that some of these men (and some of the women too) will see and then respond to is how offended THEY are. Guess what guys, this ad is in no way accusing you of being rapists or being potential rapists. It is to remind you that rape can happen at anytime and there is no excuse for it. It is not on the same level of reminding people to not murder. Rape in society is not given the same treatment as murder. Rape is also not on the same level as a gold digger - so yes John Smith - I don't actually make it a habit to tell all the Ladies to make sure she can pay for her own jack & cokes but I'll get started on that memo ASAP. I'm glad your insulted and offended and I'm glad that all men are looking at this but what's not good is that you're getting immediately defensive and missing the point. It's to raise awareness for ALL. Women can rape men, men can rape other men, women can rape other women - Rape is about power, not sexuality. So thanks for your analogies and complete failure to grasp the context. However - the ads, especially if they offended you have done the jobs and now, now you can See that there just might be a problem.Charice, female

John...this campaign is not designed to destroy the fairytale image of marriage but to educate people like yourself on the realities of the suffering some people endure. These poor women and men suffer in silence so it's about time a campaign reached them on such a personal level.Anonymous, female

There is no such thing as marital rape unless the couple is in the process of separating.WTF???, female

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